» Accidental animal cruelty

Everlasting Beetle
First question in a while I've had the opportunity to answer so here goes..

As a nipper, I absolutely loved (and still do to some extent) riding my bike. One day as I merrily rode along the pavements getting in the way of OAPs and whatnot, the familiar sound of tyres on pavement were broken by a nasty crunching noise. I hit the brakes, stopped and retraced where I had come from to be faced with..

A beetle.

This wasn't an ordinary beetle though. To this day it is by far the largest beetle I have ever come across. Now obviously the thing was half squished but amazingly it was still alive and writhing around as well as a crippled bug could manage. On seeing this pitiful sight the words of my dad (bless him) came thundering into my little brain:

"Son, if you ever see a hurt animal that isn't going to get better, put it out of its misery instead of leaving it to die slowly"

So, back to the half disemboweled beetle. With the nugget of knowledge fresh in my head I decided to go forth and run the little bugger over again just to be sure it was dead. Crunch, crunch, wriggle.

Somehow it was still alive and it became clear to my young self that this beetle was not going to die as quickly as I wanted it to. Desperate measures had to be taken. Beetle is scuffed off the pavement into the lane. Even a direct hit from the tyre from a height didn't stop its squirming around.

By now I was getting frustrated. I wanted to go to the shop and get some sweets but I had told myself that this creature had to die before I moved another inch. Spotting half a brick nearby, I grabbed it and slammed it down onto Mr Beetle. That was it I thought. Nothing could take that.

Twitch. It twitched at me in some form of insect mockery. If you've managed to read this far, the next measure would be the death of the Everlasting Beetle. I scooped him up, put him in my pocket and took a short run over to the main road. Checking the coast was clear, I valiantly (or stupidly, depends how you look at it) ran onto the road, and placed the beetle where the car tyres liked to go over.

I retreated to the kerbside and watched in suspense. A few cars came by, but they all missed the potential roadkill offered before them. Suddenly the roar of a diesil engine rolled in. Shortly after the Everlasting Beetle had died, a victim of a travel coach.

Solemnly, I turned around and wandered off to get my sweets. I always get taken back to that day whenever beetles come up in conversation.

Length apologised for.
(Fri 7th Dec 2007, 0:08, More)

» What's the hardest you've tried to get dumped?

She tried and succeeded
I'm not sure if storming out of a house early on a crisp Sunday morning makes me the dumper or the dumpee but I suppose the little details like that are not important.

My second "proper" relationship started out of her infidelity which is not a good sign to begin with. She took a sudden liking to me, ditched the (by all standards, not a brilliant person. For anyone) bf and shacked up with me. The year hasn't long begun at this point and a few months of bliss pass by, with me thinking seriously about settling down with this one as she does appear to be a keeper.

Now to try and get on a tangent that can relate somewhat to the question. Towards the end of the year things changed a lot. It was the typical kind of thing that people tend to pick up on. Lots of time one the phone talking to a single person. Lots of tapping things out on the computer to said person. I had really curbed a lot of my jealous streak after my last relationship ended because of it so this sort of stuff I let slide until the real beginning of the end.

She went out across the country to see him, with me in tow (wasn't allowed to go on her own). We all met up with this guy's mates and stayed at a place with beer and lots of TV/Internet. I didn't really enjoy it apart from the beer (couldn't hold a conversation with them to save my life) and it was at that point I realised that something "Was Not Right".

After returning from the trip, the niggling feeling in that back of my head that I had supressed for so long managed to get some control over me. I'm not proud of what I did ladies and gents - I started snooping.

Seems it was for good reason too, it turns out that a lot of my fears were being confirmed one by one. She was definitely considering playing away with this guy. So a party at her place was pretty much a perfect time to do the deed.

It turns out that they had been talking over MSN, using the L word and talking about being soulmates right under my nose. Literally - I was in the room at the time. I can't remember much more about that night except for scrawling some note about how unhappy I was, going to sleep, waking up, confronting her then grabbing my stuff and leaving sharpish.

The only problem with this is that it is a Sunday and there is no bus service that will get me back to my town for another 3 hours. I was in such a bad state that I decided walking home was a lot better than sticking around. I really, really needed to get away. So begins the 8 mile walk home, across main roads with no pavement with my gear slung over my shoulder.

I came close to being roadkill quite a few times due to me not thinking in my usual straight line and at one point I became lost and had to backtrack a mile. By the time I was in my town, bus services were running again and a very kind driver let me ride the last couple of hundred yards for free. Best bus driver ever in my opinion and my best experience with public transport. So that's two QOTWs out of the way, well, kind of :)

I know I ramble a lot, I just had to get it out of my system.

Mr. B
(Mon 9th Jun 2008, 21:28, More)

» Dumb things you've done

The madras I just had
Why I decided to eat a madras tonight, I do not know. I now realise that this combined with a few cans of red bull and a lot of mints, is going to ruin Christmas morning for me.

Just think, when you're all unwrapping your presents, I'm going to be having an explosive shit somewhere in rural Wales.

Good point: We managed to get a Wii *yays*
(Mon 24th Dec 2007, 23:26, More)

» I hurt my rude bits

Baldock Ball Basher
Walking home from school watching a few people walking along the steel crash barrier. In the rain. Unfortunatly, Rob just happened to slip on the part where one section is bolted to the other. 3 crash barrier bolts to the nads, a scream of pain followed by running off. We didnt see him for a week, and he couldnt hear enough about it for the week after that.

On a personal note, I once had my ass munched on by a dog. Never make sandwiches with ham and quickly wipe your hands on your jeans.

pop ^_^
(Thu 13th Jul 2006, 22:27, More)

» Dumb things you've done

Chancing traffic
Both me and one of my mates are avid cyclists, and used to often go cycling along the canal that runs through our village. To get down to the thing, one has to nip down a hill and cross the perpendicular road.

Out of a cross between laziness in stopping to look both ways or as a small adrenaline buzz, we always didn't bother to look and nipped straight out onto the road. This is a backwards village so the road was almost always clear. It was months before this (looking back, it was incredibly stupid) stupid disregard of safety caught up on us.

Out for one of our canal rides as usual, we cross the road with my mate in front and me at the back. The car coming sideways at 35mph obviously didn't brake in time, but luckily I did - And watched one of my best mates make contact with it's bonnet and fly a good few meters into the doorway of the butchers.

As the shock kicks in, I realise that I have been partially responsible for the death of my pal, all until he suddenly stands up and declares "I'm OK!".... with not a lot of skin left on his arms and pissing blood everywhere.

Damage was a buckled frame, 2 rims and a pedal arm, a total write off. The metal pedal had also managed to embed itself somewhere inside the front of the car.

Took a few weeks to heal, and we cycle a lot more carefully these days!

Length? About 8 meters looking at the trail of blood
(Fri 21st Dec 2007, 17:30, More)