b3ta.com user Iain K
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» Missing body parts

Felopian tube, I believe
Was an 11 year old boy when my nuts started hurted *real* bad. Turns out I've got a thing called 'Tortion of the Testes' which is when your the blood vessels get tied in knots and cut of the blood supply.. and it bloody hurts, too.

Turns out that as well as stitching up my nads, the surgeons also found a minature, left over piece of girl floating around in there. Weird.

They threw it away, the bastards. Wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
(Thu 1st Jun 2006, 23:29, More)

» Terrible food

Chocolate Swiss Roll
Only not just any chocolate swiss roll, swiss roll my Mum had got from some dodgy Del-boy character in a market. She didn't tell me this of course.

So, school lunch, tuck into this roll: foul, foul, foul. After some time spent retching, I look at it: the "fresh" cream is BLUE, with green specks. It tasted like a vintage cheese that had just been vvomited and shat on. Bleurrgh. Turns out the expiry was about 10 months ago. I can still taste it now, many years on.
(Sun 20th May 2007, 14:13, More)