» Guilty Laughs

I'm really not pleased with myself for laughing at this...
I really wish I didn't find it funny, but I can't help it!!!


(Sun 25th Jul 2010, 16:14, More)

» Prejudice

A serious one
My Grandmother is black and now lives up near co. Durham. As a child, I never even realised there was anything different about her. She is not 'black as the ace of spades'. People seem to forget there are many different colours that are classed as 'black'. This is irrelevant anyway. As a kid I used to go and spend a few days/weeks with her up north and used to love my time there.

One day we got on the bus for a big day out in the metro centre (those who live there will know that it's the biggest and most horrendous shopping centre in the country). As we got on, some guy shouted to me (I am white, largely by a freak of genetics and mixed raced parents) that I 'should step away from that fucking nigger and respect my country'.

I respect my country and I'm proud of my relatives. I didn't know what to think that day when I watched my Grandmother hold her head up high and ignore the guy that had made ME realise that my family was 'different'.

My relatives worked hard for their place in society and I will never accept any form of generalisation against any migrants to this country. Prejudice is the one thing that makes me want to fight people, even if I end up in hospital.
(Thu 1st Apr 2010, 23:18, More)

» Annoying words and phrases

I have been putting together a few project initiation documents recently
and decided it was time for a new 'buzz-phrase' at work. I have settled on 'Continuous Re-Assessment of Performance'

It has started to catch on. I have now seen it copied in another document and it has slipped into a couple of requirements documents as well. I am quite proud that this wonderful little phrase can apply to both system performance and team performance. It's universally applicable. I will be adding it to the benefits sections of all projects that I can as well!

I will have management talking CRAP in presentations by the middle of the summer!!!
(Mon 12th Apr 2010, 12:30, More)

» Travel

Auto-rickshaw scam avoidance
A few years back, I spent several months in Delhi with work. I had a great time and absolutely love the city, the problem was that I was staying in a hotel in a town called Noida, just the other side of the river from Delhi itself.

One weekend, as usual, I flagged down an auto-rickshaw to take me over to Delhi. Noida is actually in a different state to Delhi, and only Delhi licensed auto's can travel freely between Delhi and Uttar Pradesh (the state that Noida lies in). Having struggled to get a Delhi auto, I finally flagged down one with a UP license who still agreed to take me over to Delhi. We agreed the price and I hopped in. As soon as we got going, I realised something was a little wrong. We weren't heading in the usual direction. The route we were on would take me to Delhi, but at the opposite end of the city to where I wanted to be. I mentioned this to the driver and he mentioned something about police check points, so I sat back and let him carry on.

Eventually we got to a bridge that marks the border between the two states, where we pulled over into a lay-by full of other auto drivers. The driver immediately asked me for the full fare he had quoted and told me to go and negotiate the rest of the journey with a Delhi auto-driver. This annoyed me a little, as I had already agreed to a price that I knew was not only the 'Westerners price' but had also offered to pay a little extra for the risk of crossing states, so I paid the guy half and told him that he hadn't taken me where I wanted to go and he, or whoever took me to my destination would get the other half.

At this point I realised that I walked straight into a bit of a scam. All the drivers there immediately started arguing about fares and put on a big show in the hope of conning me out of more money through fear. The problem was that it all looked so rehearsed that it was clear they try this trick on a regular basis. I think that had I only recently arrived in India for the first time, I would have been terrified and would have just thrown whatever money they asked for at them to get away. Unfortunately for these drivers, this was my third trip in the last couple of years, all of which had been for several months, so I knew exactly what was happening. I just slowly edged away from the rather camp argument and fighting that was taking place, and quietly flagged down the next auto to pass and sped across the bridge into Delhi. They were all still stood around arguing with each other without realising I had gone as I turned the corner on the other side and disappeared out of sight!
(Wed 24th Apr 2013, 12:17, More)

» Never Meet Your Heroes

stereophonics
I was in a pub in Reading and my friend pointed out that the reason why there was a big croud of people around some little runt was that it was actually Kelly Jones from the stereophonics. Having had a few beers, i bet my friend 20 quid that he wouldn't go and stroke his face. Having had a few more, he went off and tried. There was a bodyguard type tough wanker there so my friend tried to chat subtly for a bit. Seemed to work so went for the kill. Didn't work. So he explained the bet and even offered to split the winnings. The answer was no.
The cunt.
(Tue 30th May 2006, 20:42, More)