» Amazing displays of ignorance

Who's that?
A couple of years ago I was visiting Venice. Venice in ITALY. I really wanted to visit the famous CHURCH, St Mark's Basillica, I'm not religious but I thought it'd be cool to have a look around such a famous CHURCH and soak up a bit of culture.

Once I got inside the CHURCH, I joined a queue of people making their way around, looking at the paintings and figures on the walls and ceiling. Painted on the ceiling of the dome of this famous CHURCH was a bearded chap with a rather beatific look and a circle of light behind his head. Seated around this back-lit guy on the ceiling of this CHURCH in ITALY, were painted 12 other similarly bearded gents. It looked as if the twelve guys were some sort of followers of the first, disciples, if you will.

Now, such an image painted on the ceiling of a FAMOUS CHURCH in ITALY must have some significance. I obviously wasn't the only one with an enquiring mind: the large American woman in front of me turned to her husband, who was also transfixed by the mysterious chap on the ceiling, as said: "Gee, do you think that's King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table?"...


You know, I think it could have been.
(Sat 20th Mar 2010, 17:05, More)

» My most gullible moment

American tourist...
I was in Stockholm a few weeks ago and, whilst there, a friend and I happened to be at the palace at 12.30, when they do the changing of the guard. It was quite an elaborate ceremony with soldiers in full dress uniform displaying their swords, a marching band, horses and canons. An unfortunate American woman next to me asked me if I knew what was happening, to which I replied: "Oh, it's an execution...."

She got quite upset and was trying to leave when I had to admit that it wasn't.

She also believed me later when the band started playing and I said: "Oh, this is the national anthem of IKEA...."
(Sun 24th Aug 2008, 12:18, More)

» Evil Pranks

Simple but effective...
A few months back my housemate was asleep in his room and I was in a rather mischeivous mood. Our other housemate had been decorating his room and had taken his door off its hinges and left it leaning against the wall in the hall. Anyway, said housemate's door was identical to sleeping housemate's bedroom door. It was all too easy. I simply moved the spare door so that it covered sleeping housemate's doorway.
Now, I'm not at my sharpest when I've just woken up - I have been known to walk down the hall literally bumping into the walls in search of my first coffee of the day. My housemate has a similarly slow start time.
Imagine the confusion in my poor half-alseep friend's mind when he opened his door only to find the door he thought he'd just opened.
Only took him a few seconds to work it out but he said those few seconds fucked his brain something terrible....
(Mon 17th Dec 2007, 0:14, More)

» Addicted

South-Central American
When I was a few years younger and more naive than I am now I met a guy in a pub. He offered this white powder and said something to me, but I couldn't understand what he was saying. Then my friend told me that the guy's family were from South-Central America. Suddenly it became clear why his speech was so hard to follow: it was Maya diction...
(Sat 20th Dec 2008, 16:55, More)

» "You're doing it wrong"

Moon
Until three days ago, I'd always thought the various phases of the moon were caused as the Earth's shadow passed across the Moon.

It was only on Friday as I sat in the park drinking cocktails and saw the Sun and the Moon in the same sky that something in my brain said: 'that doesn't make sense...'

We eventually modelled the movements of the Earth, Moon and Sun using limes and worked out how it actually works...
(Mon 19th Jul 2010, 12:09, More)