Is this the right platform for Hull?

(Thu 15th Apr 2010, 16:10, More)

This:


My new vid is in links; and contains this very joke.
(Sun 9th Sep 2007, 21:10, More)

» Dad stories

My Dad was an enigma
Or just barking, I was never sure. He started a Charity, (which I now run) because he had a genuine love of people. Then he spent the next 20 years being rude to them. He was awarded the MBE for his work, but declined picking it up from the Palace because he was 'too busy'. Elton John dropped in unannounced for some event and Dad asked who he was, to his face. George Micheal was told 'You'll have to hurry, I have a meeting in 10 minutes' when he visited.
At events, he would usually give a speech, go red at the applause then head for the kitchen to help with the washing up.
He died last year, from the big C in terrible pain. But his last words still make me smile. The Morphine in the Hospice had taken away the man i knew, he hadn't spoken in a few days. But he came back for just one second.
I said to him: 'Dad, the doctor is here'
And he replied:
'I can see that, you bloody fool'
He died that afternoon.
(Sat 27th Nov 2010, 13:55, More)

» Crappy relationships

I think I knew it was over
when he broke my jaw in three places and partially detached the retina in my right eye. But it didn't end when he went to prison for it. Mortgage companies don't seem to care about reasons you are struggling; just that you aren't paying. By taking on two extra jobs I managed to get by: no WAY was I losing my home as well.
Not long after his release, I was burgled. Then my tyres were slashed. Then someone posted me a dead rat. Luckily I have strong support around me and it has been all quiet for a few years now.
But I'll stay single, thanks.
(Sun 24th Oct 2010, 13:39, More)

» Bad Management

The Japanese
have a reputation for getting things done, but god knows how in my experience. I started a job for a Japanese firm in the UK. I was given a desk, a chair, and a screwdriver.
I was told my first job (I hadn't even been shown round yet) was to remove the arms from my chair, because only managers were allowed them.

They also had managers whose sole job was to attend meetings. They had meetings to decide who should attend meetings. I once solved a problem but was told to 'unsolve it' because there had been a meeting scheduled to discuss the solution, and they didn't want to cancel it.
(Wed 16th Jun 2010, 15:12, More)

» Celebrities part II

I was very rude to Jason Patric once
We were on the set of 'Incognito', a long time ago. I was an extra and didn't have a clue who he was. He pushed to the front of the catering line, ahead of me. I gave him a proper un-lady like mouthful. He reddened and apologised profusely, but said he was due back on set right away, so was told to go the the front of the queue. It was rather sweet actually.
After he had gone, I was escorted off the site and have never been in a film since.
My late Dad out-did me though. He was rude to the Queen! In 2003 he was awarded an MBE and was told to report to the Palace to recieve it from the Queen herself. He wrote back and said thanks, but he was far too busy for all that faffing about (actual words). In the end, he was awarded it in his front room by the Lord Lieutenant. I made sandwiches.

I do miss the cantankerous old sod.
(Tue 13th Oct 2009, 18:09, More)

» Letters they'll never read

Dear K
It's been a long time. I bet you are suprised that I think of you still everyday, but I do. I come and visit you too, but not as often as I should perhaps.
I didn't do so good, K, and I owed it to you to try harder. But I messed up. Worse, I blamed you for it.
But I always knew the truth deep down, perhaps that is what i was running from all these past years. I know I should never have let you go. I should have been stronger. I know it was my fault. My responsibility to keep you and Dad safe, like I promised Mum i would.
Well, now you are all gone. I hope you are together. I'm alone here.
Many times I have felt like coming to join you, but i don't have the courage. They call it the cowards way out, but i'm not even brave enough for that, so what does that make me?
I don't suppose it will be too long one way or another. Either my liver or lungs will get me. I've smoked four ciggies just writing this far.
I think what I am trying to say is: I'm sorry K. I'm sorry i let you die. I'm sorry it wasn't me instead. I'm sorry I have led such a self-destructive life. I'm sorry i never had children because i would be too frightened of losing them.

I'm sorry that I let everyone I love down.

Your Little Sis.
(Tue 9th Mar 2010, 18:07, More)