» The Weird Kid In Class

Sally
Oh my word, this kid was strange. She was strange in so many ways, I shall list but a few.

Background...Sally did a project for me at University (I'm a PhD ubergeek) and I quickly realised how utterly bonkers she was.

Three of her highlights were. No food was allowed to touch on her plate, and she eat them separately. When I asked her about this she seemed to believe that was the only way to eat food. Cue me asking, what about gravy...she was mortified at the prospect of such a 'connecting' fluid being used with food.

Whenever Sally saw a post office van she would hit herself in the leg! No matter what. Carrying 8 bags of heavy shopping, stop for a quick interlude of leg punching! Once she thought she saw one in the distance, hit herself, then as it came past she realised it was just a red van, so she wiped it off and put it in her pocket (the punch, not the van) for next time!

And finally one of my favourites, she always had to wear something pink. Always. So I asked her what about sleeping, pink pyjamas. What about showering, pink hair bobble. What about washing her hair in the shower, pink shampoo. What about washing her hair at someone else's house where there was no pink shampoo, total horror. Complete fear swept over her face. I had found her a place where she would have to go pinkless. She simply finished for the day and went home.

Absolutley raving, madder than a box of badgers.

Apologies for length, its not often you see one that size from a geek.
(Fri 19th Jan 2007, 12:10, More)

» The Weird Kid In Class

Its you...
They do say that if you cannot figure out who the cnut is on a work course within half an hour, then its you. I presume the same happens at every school. That said we had a really nice school with no weird kids.
(Fri 19th Jan 2007, 11:50, More)

» When were you last really scared?

Farmer's with pickaxe handles
When I were just a wee nipper of 18 me and few friends went for a drive after a Sunday night pub visit. What actually insued was half an hour of powersliding a motor all over some field in the middle of nowhereville.

Anyway, that wasn't the scary bit. The scary bit came just as we were driving out another car was coming down the country lane, so I thought I'd let it past, only it didn't pass, it boxed us into the field!

From said car stepped a huge farmer lad carrying a pickaxe handle, and to say he was a litle miffed would be an understatement. His brother seemed a little annoyed about something as well.

Anyway for the best part of 10-15 minutes they threatened to smash us or the car, told us to get out, threatened to put the windows and lights in etc...

I can safely say that is the most frightened I have ever been. And the worst bit was it was entirely my own stupid fault! Eventually they let us go, and I swore never to mess with a farmer again.

Looking back I was a twunt and deserved to have the heebeegeebees scared from my corpus.

If you are that farmer, I'm sorry for ruining your field mate, thanks for not killing me in return.
(Thu 22nd Feb 2007, 16:29, More)

» Pathological Liars

I've been away for 5 and a half years
I have no idea where I have been for the last 5 and a half years and I have nothing to do with the mysterious disappearance of my wife 6 weeks ago. Totally unrelated.

The police, oh that's just routine questioning...

John Darwin
(Mon 3rd Dec 2007, 18:37, More)

» Terrible Parenting

I like this
Blah blah blah, parents something

Click I like this if you're bored of people who have stories that require a begging final line.

Can we stop this please?

Rant over, done, Goodbye.
(Fri 17th Aug 2007, 13:29, More)