» I'm your biggest Fan

Spank Monkey reminded me - Belinda Carlisle
So here goes my b3ta virginity.

In 1987, I was 15. I had somehow ignored the last 5 years of great 80s music and New Romantics. I don't know why, but suspect I was rather more involved with problems of my own - being fervently Christian, and secretly as gay as a window.

Suddenly Belinda Carlisle arrived on the scene and I adored her immediately. Every record, every tape, every sniff of a freebie, I'd caught the bug at last. Then in 1988 she announced a tour. Joy was unconfined.

So I got a job, to pay for the coach trip and my ticket, and on payday proudly announced my plans. Absolutely no way was I allowed to go to London on my own. We lived in Darkest Devon. I begged, pleaded, cajoled, but there was no leeway given.

Finally after two weeks, mum gave in to my constant begging and sat me down and told me how I was to get the train and the tube, then 200 miles home again before the trains finished that night. 'twas all agreed and sunshine reigned.

The Good Heavens tour was sold out. Everywhere, sold out. I was laughed at for enquiring. Of course now I know I should have gone and tried the touts, but I didn't know and there was no webmonging in 1987.

So I went surly. Surly as hell. I wouldn't speak to my parents for weeks. I even wonder if that's why I finally came out to them, just to see the look on their faces.

I was allowed to watch the televised performance of said concert, which being as it was recorded in Philadelphia and was therefore on at about 3am, this was a big gesture.

The next tour called in at Cornwall, on the same day I had an exam. There was no question I would be there. I was, and got an A for the exam (GCSE Physics, fact fans).

mum always said I'd grow out of it. Belinda was a phase. Homosexuality was evidence of demonic possession (oh yes!). I still held vigils at every TV appearance I could afford. She happened to perform at GAY on my 25th birthday in 1997, and the club owner introduced me to her backstage, for real. Where she ignored my burbling questions and posed for photos instead. Viz my dodgy highlights:



I still go to concerts of hers now, and still buy everything (said Good Heavens tour is released on CD and DVD on Monday 20th April 2009, and I'll be there). It still makes me go into absolute joy-mode.

In 2006, I was in New York, waiting to watch Belinda take the stage with the Go-Go's, and immediately beforehand, I phoned Mum. She said "I guess she wasn't a phase then. Or you being gay", which was rather sweet of her. Only took her 19 years to figure it out. I got shagged 6 times in 4 days in New York City. Best place in the world. The being a Christian part was the only phase I ever went through. After I found out how homophobic a lot of them are.

And so, a happy ending. I even speak to two of the Go-Go's (Jane Wiedlin and Kathy Valentine) on occasion, and I have more esoteric and worthless memorabilia and autographs than you could throw a striped legging at. And remember - let your children do as they like, or may they end up gay!

Sorry if dull, but it wasn't to me, and it is my first post.

*pop*
(Fri 17th Apr 2009, 20:41, More)

» The thing I've been most ashamed of doing with a penis

Embarrassing?
When I got raped at 19, I guess. I probably shouldn't have been the one ashamed, but when you're a bloke, that's how it goes.

You'll be happy to know however that it pierced my Christian inhibitions and a month later I came out as gay. I've still never had a relationship, but I've had a lot of consensual sex with guys since then, and I found out what I like

And the guy who did it actually apologised to me ten years later.

I still slapped him round the face. Hard.

B3ta virginity finally gone too, at 37.
(Sun 15th Mar 2009, 9:28, More)