» Corporate Idiocy

My girlfriend's dad (GFD) worked for a well known high street jewelers
they were in the process of closing one of two stores in Perth, Scotland (this bit is important). He has been called in as manager of the other store to help pack up and take note of all the stock as it would be getting moved to his store.

There was still a fair amount there so they called in a courier to take all of the jewelry to the other store in the same town, Perth. It all gets collected by the courier who's name escapes me but might have been DHL, and everything's fine. it'll take a day or two to be processed by the warehouse and sent out says the guy from the courier.

4 days later it's still not arrived, so he phones the courier and gets their central call centre. the woman pulls up the delivery on the screen and says that they tried to deliver it that day but the street didnt exist in Perth. It clearly does replies GFD, I'm standing in it. Oh says call centre monkey you dont sound australian...

Yep that's right, they'd sent it to Perth, australia 9119 miles from its intended destination
(Wed 29th Feb 2012, 9:08, More)

» Shops and Supermarkets

I used to work in a supermarket that rhymes with Tesco
Got a few stories but this is the one that came to mind first.

I worked in produce but had a mate, who we'll call Mikey (as that's his name), who worked on the freezer aisle. We had one side of the aisle as the tall verticle freezers and one side with open flat ones.

One day I'm standing chatting to my mate while he's filling the flat ones and this kid and his mum are standing down the aisle a bit. The kid's climbing on the freezer and his mum keeps telling him to get off, eventually saying "if you don't get off there, the man will throw you out of the shop" pointing at my mate and smiles at him.

Being in a good mood, Mikey bends down and says to the kid "yeah stop climbing on that or I'll have to through you out"

The kid, who I should add was no more than 7 or 8, looks up at Mikey, still climbing on the freezer and responds: "fuck off ya cuntrag".

The mum grabs the kid and drags him off screaming at him and I nearly died laughing. Had to go for a sit down through the back after that
(Mon 14th May 2012, 10:51, More)

» Irrational Hatred

people who fill silence with noise
this includes people who sing, whistle and hum...

seriously shut the fucking fuck up, there is no need for you to make any noise, you're just walking down a corridor/doing the dishes/about to be shot in the back of the head with a crossbow by me
(Thu 31st Mar 2011, 15:59, More)

» Terrible Parenting

cunt rag
I used to work in a local tesco and a 5 or 6 yr old kid was climbing on the freezers in the aisle i was working in at the time time with my mate Mikey. we heard the woman tell the kid "you better stop that or the man will put you out". Mikey plays along and bends down and says "yeah you better behave!"

The kid replies "Fuck off ya cuntrag!"
The mum smiles and walks off. I pissed myself!
(Fri 17th Aug 2007, 20:11, More)

» Conspicuous Consumption

dr baconlove or how i learned to love the working in a supermarket
I didnt think i had anything to share but themanwithplan's story made me remember 2 incidents back when i was a student.

The first was one night when I was working in a supermarket which rhymes with Tesco. A manager had found a couple of hundred quids worth of bacon going out of date that day at 730pm. no chance of selling it so divys it up and I go home to have 2 bacon rolls with approximately 12-15 rashers per roll...heaven!

the second involves my flatmate at time who worked in corporate catering with a bank almost wholly owned by the government now. He had been working at some corporate function with a buffet and when it was finished he loads of food home for us to eat. We were going out that night though, so cue our post pub munchies being tonnes of smoked salmon, fist thick fillet steaks and chicken skewers!
(Wed 3rd Aug 2011, 16:26, More)