» Political Correctness Gone Mad

Dirty
Supposedly the first the first time I saw an african-english/african-american/black person I was very very young an on a tram with my mum. This guy was standing next to us and I turned to my mum, and not very discretely, asked "mummy, why is that man's face so dirty?" Ooohh she was embarrassed.
(Wed 28th Nov 2007, 12:26, More)

» Ripped Off

Plastic Pig...
Was walking past a shop (whilst drunk), when out of the corner of my eye I spotted a full size* plastic pig. Well it had to be bought! So went into said shop and and purchased the pig for the bargin price of £50. I then had no money for beer so sobbered up pretty quickly adn realised that a plastic pig is not worth 50 quid, I had been ripped off and the money would have been better wasted on drink. Although it is doing pretty well as a makeshift close pig at the momment.

* I don't think I have ever seen pig that wasn't in the form of bacon or sausage, but its about 1.2m long and about 0.5m high.

I guess the above * qualifys for a lenght comment. Don't think plastic pig has any apologies he has a pretty smug look on his face.
(Thu 22nd Feb 2007, 13:56, More)

» Accidental animal cruelty

didn't mean it!
When my mum was at uni, my mums flatmate had a pet hamster/gerbil (aren't they the same thing) that she loved like a child. The flatmates boyfriend didn't really like the thing and always teased her he was going to let it go, or eat standard teasing jokes.

One day he came into her flat to hear his girlfriend screech

"Don't open the door he'll escape..." CRUNCH!

Just has he put his foot down on top of the gerbil. Supposedly she went ballistic and blamed him, saying he killed it on purpose and had just been looking for an excuse. To be fair he was probably putting it out of it misery if she was as crazy as she sounds.
(Mon 10th Dec 2007, 12:48, More)

» Pathological Liars

mines better than yours
I knew someone who always had have a story a bit better than your, and normally exaggerated a their story somewhat. I don't have a problem with that as most people do it a bit. But this person took it to new levels.

Like a story where a mate of ours told us, where his borhter managed to lose 14 phones in a year. I thought that sounded a lot, but I did know his brother and he was a dozy bastard so I thought that it was possible.

Then the person mention above pipped up with "Well I lost 55 in a year!"

Really?

This was after uni so we'd known her for over 3 years and she'd never lost a phone. But before we knew her she obviously had a very good insruance.
(Tue 4th Dec 2007, 18:23, More)

» Insults

Done in the Ghost
Not sure where it came from but i think me and my flatmates come up with it after being hung over and watching the bill cosby film (probably oscar winning) Ghost dad.

Its pretty versitile, could be used to describe what you did to someone last night, or they could look like they've been done in the ghost. but it was funnier when it was expanded. cause no one really knew what it meant we were able to build it up. so if one of our flatmates said they did a chick int eh ghost last night then someone could come out with "where did you find a pig and a belt sander at that time of night". or how many limbs did you use, the more imaginative the better.
(Tue 9th Oct 2007, 15:26, More)