b3ta.com user djflayva
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» Sleepwalking

Laser nipples
I once was woken up my girlfriend informing me "it's a SCART cable" I was confused as I was pretty sure I had just been asleep.

"what is?" I replied

"You plug it in"

"huh?"

This conversation repeated about 20 times until I started to get angry at which point she woke up and had no idea what I was talking about!
(Sat 25th Aug 2007, 16:14, More)

» What's the hardest you've tried to get dumped?

A bit naughty
I went out with this girl, shagged her after 2 days then got bored. She was into self harm and stuff, so rather than lower her confidence I said I was gay.

Next week she saw me in a graveyard with another girl, hiding underneath one of those tye dyed sheets.

Being the confident young squeak I was I didn't care if people thought I was gay or not. I didn't expect some people to still believe it 4 years later though.
(Wed 11th Jun 2008, 19:32, More)

» Insults

rofler
Cock-rocket

Cock-knocker

Skank-maiden

Douche-mama

Clunge-cluster
(Sun 7th Oct 2007, 0:53, More)

» Personal Hygiene

Stinky annoying guy
There is a dude(I use the term loosely) not mentioning any names like James Kenevan in my college class who stinks of BO. Everytime you're near him you can smell it. Except noone else can? I don't even have a very strong sense of smell,but it is clear as crystal that he washes his clothes in urinals.

Even worse when I was on an Outward Bound course on an expedition I shared a one man tent with a guy, heads to feet like. And he hadn't washed before we'd started the expedition! He didnt even bring any spare clothes. Good job I was too ill to smell anything.
(Thu 29th Mar 2007, 11:12, More)