» I witnessed a crime

On how I nearly fitted into this QOTW....
A couple of mondays ago, me and my friend C (shes female and noticibly so) had been out for a wee bit of drinkage in the fine town of manchester (joshua brooks if your interested).
The early hours were upon us and after my dismal failure to pull this chunky lass and C having a massive argument with her mate, and we both decided to call it a night. So off we went to the bus stop and hopped on the first bus heading our way.
The bus eventually arrived and we hopped on. The bottom was fairly full so we headed up to the top, there were only us two sat at the front and three scabby looking guys at the back. About 30 seconds into the journey an unshaven mess appears at my shoulder and announces (in its best chavspeak) "You want any blow mate?"
I didnt, and informed him thus. He apparantly took objection to this and responded with this (stunning) bit of repartee: "Then give me all your fucking money"
Being in a rather inebriated state (and fairly convinced this bloke was a gnome) I just nodded and continued staring blankly at him. The threats continued for a few more moments and I eventually realised I was being mugged. Deciding I liked my face very un"slashed" I got out all my money (about 4 pounds in change) and duly handed it over.
About 3 minutes later (after an ignored attempt to steal my phone) the kindly gent retires back to his seat and starts cackling with his fellow man-gnomes. The bus pulls over a few seconds later and me and C decide to ge the hell outta there.
Man-gnome chooses this moment to look up and notices C, looks very confused and hurried up to me.
"Shit sorry mate, didnt realise you were with a girl."
Now its my turn to look confused (this may have showed in my expression) as manchavgnome proceeds to reach into his pocket and pulls out all his change and hands it to me.

Yes, thats right, I got a refund on a mugging.

Actually I made about 1.50 on the deal.

I think that makes me Jesus...

Apologies for length, it would be longer but im still confused.
(Mon 18th Feb 2008, 23:28, More)

» Guilty Pleasures, part 2

I don't know if this counts...
But I enjoy it (a bit too much) and it makes me feel a bit guilty, so here goes.

At the moment, I'm sharing a house with two other guys at uni. Theyre both great mates and we all get along (most of the time).

But, by Shemak, they can annoy me sometimes.

Its just stupid things (as I'm sure we've all been through) alway playing music just as I'm trying to work or watch tv, never quite turning it low enough so I can hear it through the floor or bitching about fucking stupid things ("you used my butter! How could you! YOU CUNT!!) etc etc

(bear with me, Im getting to the guilty pleasure part)

Currently, they're bitching with each other over who borrowed whose nail cutters (no shit, they really are).

This has dragged on for most the term and only I know why...

It's because I've been buying new ones and scattering them round the house.

:-D hee heee
(Thu 13th Mar 2008, 15:24, More)

» How nerdy are you?

Well....
I used to think i was a true geek...

I have spent days at a time sat in my room watching the entire run of Stargate/Farscape/The X-Files/A New Generation

I own every Terry Pratchett book (except "Once More With Footnotes" because I cant afford it)

I'd read LOTR at least 7 times by the age of 14 (Ive lost count now)

I spend most my free time either on here, wikipedia or playing conservatroll

Also, and this bit is important, I'm a massive GW nut (my local store stopped me taking part in their monthly quizzes because i never lost.) I even became a staff member for a year or so...

However I had been reading this QOTW and had started to feel slightly smug, compared to some of my fellow B3tards I seem a veritable font of social skills. (Yay me!)

This being the case I went out last night with a skip in my step and a near terminal caffiene overdose. The night progressed (as they often do) and things were going well between me and this friend of mine S (name witheld to protect the poor girl).

It got to that point where you have to choose whether to back off or dive in head first and giggling (and hope ostracism is just something that happens to other people). I went to the bar to get a drink so I could weigh up the pros and cons (definately alot more pros than cons, Ive always been a sucker for hot blondes ;-) )

All I heard was a voice in my head going
"Go on my son, For The Emperor"






I fail in so many ways...
(Sat 8th Mar 2008, 15:41, More)

» Public Transport Trauma

Mmmmm, smell the peas
A couple of mondays ago, me and my friend C (shes female and noticibly so) had been out for a wee bit of drinkage in the fine town of manchester (joshua brooks if your interested).
The early hours were upon us and after my dismal failure to pull this chunky lass and C having a massive argument with her mate, and we both decided to call it a night. So off we went to the bus stop and hopped on the first bus heading our way.
The bus eventually arrived and we hopped on. The bottom was fairly full so we headed up to the top, there were only us two sat at the front and three scabby looking guys at the back. About 30 seconds into the journey an unshaven mess appears at my shoulder and announces (in its best chavspeak) "You want any blow mate?"
I didnt, and informed him thus. He apparantly took objection to this and responded with this (stunning) bit of repartee: "Then give me all your fucking money"
Being in a rather inebriated state (and fairly convinced this bloke was a gnome) I just nodded and continued staring blankly at him. The threats continued for a few more moments and I eventually realised I was being mugged. Deciding I liked my face very un"slashed" I got out all my money (about 4 pounds in change) and duly handed it over.
About 3 minutes later (after an ignored attempt to steal my phone) the kindly gent retires back to his seat and starts cackling with his fellow man-gnomes. The bus pulls over a few seconds later and me and C decide to ge the hell outta there.
Man-gnome chooses this moment to look up and notices C, looks very confused and hurried up to me.
"Shit sorry mate, didnt realise you were with a girl."
Now its my turn to look confused (this may have showed in my expression) as manchavgnome proceeds to reach into his pocket and pulls out all his change and hands it to me.

Yes, thats right, I got a refund on a mugging.

Actually I made about 1.50 on the deal.

I think that makes me Jesus...

Apologies for length, it would be longer but im still confused.
(Thu 5th Jun 2008, 2:08, More)

» Phobias

Needles
Well injections, and surgery. I dont have a problem with blood or guts or gore, I've worked as an animal technician in a pharmacautical lab and seen some wierd ass sights (rats a-poppin!) but as soon as its something deliberate then I'm fucked.

So yeah injections/needles and surgery, stuff going into eyes and spiders.

So naturally last april fools, my borhter decides to dress up as this wierd ass spider/surgeon thing and jump out from behind a door waving needles at my face.

Ever seen a six foot four man scream, wave his arms around, spin around, headbut a wall so hard he passes out and soil himself (and not in that order)

Well my brother did...

_Twice
(Fri 11th Apr 2008, 14:53, More)