» My sex misconceptions

how do lesbians fuck?
i'm gay and generally when people find out i get one of two questions (or if they have gumption, both).

1. why did you decide to become a lesbian?

decide is a strong word, i tell them. you dont choose to be gay, you choose to accept it.

2. how do lesbians have sex?

good question, if i knew i'd tell you.

am i being serious- thats the question ;O)
(Sat 27th Sep 2008, 10:32, More)

» The nicest thing someone's ever done for me

someone asked me a question
during my university years i met someone who as introduced to me as 'the gay one'. she sat next to me and we started chatting, she asked me if i was gay. Extremely offended I said no.

Once i was home i asked myself why i was so offended and come to the conclusion that I had some un answered questions to ask myself.

What proceeded was a year or so of soul searchin (getting pissed) and being secretive and depressed.

This particular person was always there for me, she would come and collect me from the pub when i was too drunk to go home, she would listen to my problems, she put up with abuse from me telling her it was her fault i was so unhappy.

Never once did she tell me to fuck off, never once did she try it on with me (no folks she had no alterior motive, this was a pure act of kindness on her part).

She tried to get me to stop drinking my problems away, she advised me to get counselling (which i did), she advised me to talk to my course leaders at uni so that my studies did not suffer.

She was great.

As i write this to share i realise what a big thing this was and am eternally greatful to her as I am now gay and proud.

Unfortunately because i was a great jackass we no longer speak... I cant even remember what I did wrong, so dont know how to say sorry to her.

I am aware that she is very very happy and content and this is the least that she deserves for being the person who helped me to see what was missing in my life.
(Sat 4th Oct 2008, 17:07, More)

» Tightwads

there is a line between being sensible with money and being a tight bastard
you decide if you think im tight

i would like to think i am not, i just live within my means:

I have 2 credit cards but only use them for internet purchases and emergencies and pay them off the second i get the bill

i have a jar whre i save coins and then wen its full i count the coins and give them to my dad who gives me notes (he needs change for his job)

in the supermarket i look for deals and buy economy food if its nice (for example the basic potato chips and choc are nice)

i get clothes from primark, asda, tesco and matalan

i use a box from a set of speakers as my bedside table (i have a futon so its only about 10 cm off the floor)

however:
i always tip where necessay and dont calculate the tip exactly i usually round my bill up to a good number (less coins for me to carry) and leave more than the 10%

i will buy rounds in pubs and i dont buy to receive, also if one round i want a partiularly expensive drink il make sure i get that one

as long as i have enough money for my bills i will never turn down nights out or day trips etc

i never scrimp on toiletaries and washin powder but will buy ones on offer or go to cheaper shops


i would like to think that im sensible with money and nt tight and thelast thing idever want is for people to percieve me as tight
(Sun 26th Oct 2008, 10:43, More)

» Customers from Hell

the customer is never right!!!!
having worked in retail (big catalogue store), a bowling alley and in legal/finance I have come to realise that common sense is not very common at all.

far to many incidents to mention but a few that stick out:
- i worked on customer services at aforementioned catalogue store and come accross some very strange people. Is it a crime to ask for proof of purchase of an item... I think not- according to more than one customer this was an unreasonable request, how can they be expected to keep receipts for everything!!!!/ maybe because you may need it perhaps!
- pikeys who return items and claim its never been used and they were bought two of the same thing for their birthday- its quite obvious the item (for example- schoolbag, with crisps and mud in the bottom) had been used.
-in which fucked up society do people think that swearing and shouting will get them dealt with more promptly- the opposite effect is usually more common.

-at the bowling alley, it quite clearly says do not step over the black line as the lane is slipperly, therefore Mr twunt walks down the lane and slips and lands on his back, then threatens to sue... its your own fucking fault mr twunt, suck it up.
- bowling alleys are essentially machines and therefore have a nasty habit of occasionally breaking, the number of people who blame me because of this was immence. Yes, I got paid 3.30 per hour, of course it was my fault.
-those gyppos who order a burger, eat it all except one bite and then come to the counter and say they found a hair in the burger and want a new one! my sister and i both too great pleasure in pointing out that a) they should have realised the 20 inch hair was there before given that the burger around it had been eated and b) nobody except the carnee in the corner has hair as long as that....
-people who claim they gave you a twenty and you gave them change for a 10!- so... you have to pull the till out and count it, if the till is up 10 quid they can have it, if the till is not up then obviously we were given a 10. when mrs pissed customer is proved wrong and kicks off and says its not accurate I hastened to point out that we counted the till at the begining of the night and since out encounter we have had to count the till two or three times since because mr twat and mrs fuckface haveclaimed that they have been shortchanged by the fucking spotty teanagers behind the bar.

finally in my last job, had usually over 150 clients at any one time, nationwide. So many people would think that they were my ONLY client. 'hello its mr jones from wales' my reply 'which one!'

ffs i wonder how some people manage to get dressed of a morning!
(Sun 7th Sep 2008, 10:05, More)

» Cougars and Sugar Daddies

i must like em older
reminds me of an ex- gf

i was 22 she was 35, her kid was 11. somethin a bit wrong when you are closer to the kids age

worst thing, apart from the dissarpoval of friends and relatives is being caought 'at it' by said 11 year old child...

to be fair the lesbian thing is enough of a challenge,why not add the older woman and kid as the cherry on top

and as an extra note my (ex) gfs ex hubby (the kids father) lived next door to the ex's best mate

AWKWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Thu 4th Dec 2008, 20:03, More)