» Advice from Old People

Sage advice
The single best piece of advice anybody has ever given me came from my Dad. To be honest he's full of wonderful and thoughtful offerings, but none more so than this:

"Son, when you're drunk, or if you've just woken up in the middle of the night, and you need a piss, you're not really sure where you are. Sit on the bog like a woman, and save yourself a lot of trouble".

And you know what? He's right.
(Fri 20th Jun 2008, 8:07, More)

» Guilty Secrets

Not me, thankfully
... but a friend of mine, we'll call him Bob .
Bob was comforting a friend of his who had caught his fiancé cheating on him, so they were getting drunk and talking things over.
Friend asked Bob what he would do in his situation. Without thinking about it, Bob said "I'd kill her".

The guy did.

Kill her.

With a hammer.

I'm pretty sure Bob feels bad about that one.
(Mon 3rd Sep 2007, 18:30, More)

» Guilty Secrets

Bum Love
I get immeasurable pleasure from scratching my arse.
(Sat 1st Sep 2007, 15:20, More)

» Sleepwalking

More piss...
My dad's best mate usually comes to visit on a bank holiday. They usually get through quite few beers over the weekend.

I remember one occasion when I was a young 'un, he'd got up in the night and failed to find the toilet (next door to the spare room he was staying in). Instead, beered up as he was, he opened his (full) suitcase where it was on the floor, and pissed all over his clean clothes.
Cue him looking sheepish when he came down for breakfast and asking to use the washing machine. Actually, that's not true. He found it hilarious, as did we all.

Next time he came to visit, we put an old suitcase in his room, open, with a bucket in it.

First post. Yay!
(Tue 28th Aug 2007, 15:39, More)

» Customers from Hell

What do you get,
when you cross a Customer with a Punter?
(Fri 5th Sep 2008, 1:30, More)