» Flirting

Gah
I was crazy about a girl I went to college with. I had asked her out so she knew I liked her, but wasn't interested. After college she moved to Canada and I stayed around Ireland

One day on Facebook I noticed on one of those Friend Q&A things that someone had answered a question saying I was cute. I checked who answered it and it was her! So I sent her a message as a joke saying "Oh, you wait till you're all the way over in Canada to change your mind about me?"

Her response? "Puppys are cute. That doesn't mean I'm ever going to fuck one."
:(
(Mon 22nd Feb 2010, 9:16, More)

» Too much information

Beans!
A friend of mine once revealed his ultimate fantasy: to have sex with a girl while the two of them are covered in baked beans.
In his defence he stated "It's the naked woman that makes it sexy"
But why cover her in beans? Why, dear god, why?
(Tue 11th Sep 2007, 10:47, More)

» My First Experience of the Internet

I was about 12-13
We had recently got the internet at home so when I was alone I obviously went looking for porn. I found a few images and decided to save them on the computer. "I'll keep them well hidden" I said to myself "in some obscure hidden folder where no-one will find them".

Where did I end up putting them? Only the fucking startup folder so they all popped up the next time someone turned the computer on.
(Thu 22nd Mar 2012, 18:10, More)

» Sexism

Gender specific portmanteaus
I guess this is related, one thing that really does my head in from recent years is the making up of stupid new words usually with the word 'Man' stuck in. EG:

BROMANCE: Call it a fucking buddy movie
MANCATION: Because what? Vacations are for girls only?
MANTRUM: When a guy has a trantrum.

But the worst one I've heard is:
MANGAGEMENT RING: An Engagement Ring for guys. For when the girl wants to propose.

Now, if i'm in love with someone I don't mind being proposed to. I'll probably say yes, and if she asked I'd probably wear an engagement ring too. But if she offered me a Mangagement Ring I'd throw it back in her face.

Besides, what kind of guy is so insecure he'd have a problem wearing an engagement ring but is then okay with it if he's told: "Don't worry it's a MANgagement ring"?
(Tue 5th Jan 2010, 11:12, More)

» Food sabotage

I can't believe it's not butter!
This is one of those friend of a friend stories, I don't think I'd be able to come up with something like this.

It concerns two roommates who were having a feud. Not sure how it started, but I do know that after a while shit got involved. Roommate A shat in a tub, hid it under Roommate B's bed. B shat in a saucepan and put it in A's food cupboard.

Then, nothing happened. It had been a few weeks and A never retaliated. B had won. Then he went to have some toast and made the discovery: A had taken B's butter tub, and scraped some off the bottom, lined the bottom with shit and put the butter back in.

And A had been eating it for weeks, only finding it once he scraped down to the bottom.

*Edit* Shit, just read the same story a little bit down the page. Only it was a game of hide the turd.
(Thu 18th Sep 2008, 18:09, More)