» I'm going to Hell...

Bad Dad
For betting 20p with my five year old son that he couldn’t eat a teaspoon full of powdered Colman’s mustard.
(Thu 11th Dec 2008, 15:32, More)

» Hypocrisy

Peanuts, no thanks.
We were at the bar, all my stories happen in bars.

I offered her some peanuts from the bowl on the bar top, oh no she says, guys never wash there hands after the toilet, that bowl will be full of germs.

This was 5 minutes after giving me a nice uncovered BJ in the toilets.

Length about 5 mins.
(Mon 23rd Feb 2009, 15:31, More)

» Pubs

Village Pub I was only 16 at the time.
It was mid afternoon my first day in this small village in the middle of know where, time to check out the local pub. The bar was empty, no one behind the bar no customers just me. Eventually this old guy comes out from round the back of the bar and ask “what will it be?” “A pint of lager please.” So he starts poring the pint then at the same time he starts to unzip his trousers and pulls out his cock, he looks at me and says don’t worry son I just need a piss. So he did in the sink under that bar. I didn’t stay for a second pint.
(Mon 9th Feb 2009, 16:10, More)

» The nicest thing someone's ever done for me

1st Amsterdam Trip
Years ago my company sent me to work in Amsterdam for three days, my first trip to the city of sin. Arriving at Schiphol I go straight to the car hire desk and collected my keys next some local currency, walked over to the ATM about 100m away to find my wallet was gone. There are some very skilled pickpockets in Schiphol.

50p in my pocket but I had my hired car and a room reservation waiting for me in the centre of town. This was 18 years ago so mobile phones had just been launched so hardly any one carried one. I needed to get to the Hotel and call the office.

Arriving at the Hotel, the reception area was busy with lots of people milling around, I show the receptionist my passport and explain my situation. “Sorry sir we can’t give you a room with out your credit card” “Sorry we can’t let you use the phone without some form a payment” Did some one come to my rescue ? No they didn’t get a chance I just lost it, well it had been a long day “My first trip to your country, I get robbed, I have no money and no way of contacting home and you won’t help me !” The reception area fell silent, I got a room key.

Great my first trip to Amsterdam, it’s a Friday night and not a bean on me. So I wonder down to the Hotel bar in the hope I can charge a few beers to the room. The bar was empty, me and the bar maid. We start chatting, I tell her about my day that it was my first trip to Amsterdam, she had already heard about the guy that had been robbed from the other staff. She disappears for a while, when she gets back, “here take this” a 100 Guilders “have a good time.” I did and I did. Thank you nice bar person.
(Fri 3rd Oct 2008, 14:47, More)

» Darwin Awards

She was only young
Perhaps 6 or 7 years old, she ran from the sweety shop a year younger than me perhaps a year older it was so long ago. The car struck her and that was it.

A year later it was the summer holidays and I was staying at my Grans. Under strict instructions not to leave the street,

Why ? I was delivered home at the age of 3 after helping myself from the Woolies pix and mix. I don't think my family trusted me.

8 year old, stay in the street not a chance, off to the boating pond. Then it was time to go home, did she take me did I follow her it was so long ago, she was a friends older sister perhaps 10 or 11 or 12. She lived in the next street.

I gave her some lip she went for me, I ran from her; it happened so fast so quick, they got out the car. I was okay time to run I was fine, run run.

My mother only found out about it years later when I was in my 20's she cried when she asked me about it. How she found out I have no idea. She wouldn't say. Mothers !

It was only 100m from the sweety shop. I still dream about that shop and the lass.
(Tue 17th Feb 2009, 23:10, More)