» Accidental animal cruelty

Rabbits
Rabits are fucking crap we had 2 called...Stevie and Queeny, after Steve Mcqueen. We had a massive garden and used to let them pretty much do what they like, the little prick jockeys used to get stuck under the shed with their legs sticking out flailling about.

Then one night a big dog came into our garden but the rabbits would be safe because they would be in their hutch....No the dog barked at them through the hutch and they both had heat attacks and dropped dead! Rubbish!

First post yeh...

massive cock etc.
(Wed 12th Dec 2007, 16:21, More)

» Cheap Tat

Cheap tools!
I'm a sucker for tools but have slowly learned why Snapon tools are expensive....they don't snap or bend!

Being an engineer I offten need said Spanner of various sizes up to uber giant! My Dad kindly gave me all his really expensive accient spanners all AF (imperial) but soilid as fuck. So I needed some metric ones, a kind relative bought me a set from some dodgy market at about a squid a spanner consequentially none of them are the size they say they are, ie 27mm is not even close and they're all brittal as hell. In the end I gave in a spent hundreds on a good set. The cheap set have been grownd out for variuos bastardised tools.

Don't buy French or Korean cars they're all fucking crap, save up and buy a good Jap or German car (except Mercedes as it'll fall to bits because they're all built by Turkish immigrants who don't give a shit), if your a bird and want a small car then get a Fiesta.
(Fri 4th Jan 2008, 14:12, More)

» Cheap Tat

Not so much cheap as just fucking crap
Several years ago I thought I better get my computer protected from all the nasty viruses you get when looking at porn on Tinternet So I'd thought I'd go for the most popular being Norton. Don't bother!

Norton Anti virus or any other pay yearly crapy anti virus. £30 I payed for this crap, Norton anti virus blocks everything. Typing a letter in word...

D
Norton (oooo cant let you do that mate.)
e
Norton (Are you sure you want too?)
a
Norton (If you are trying to type dear please shut down all system software)
r
Norton (Right thats it I'm blocking you from using your computer ever again and no you can't uninstall me!)

Total crap just download Avira AntiVir® PersonalEdition Classic for free I've been using it for years and never had any probs or conflicts, actualy just stay off the porn sites. AVG is also very good.

Lenght 12 inches but Norton wont let you play.

Owned a Mac no games on it! Plus they're about as user friendly as monkey guided missle.
(Tue 8th Jan 2008, 14:29, More)

» Shoplifting

accidental shop lift
During those crazzzzy 90's my brother and his mate used to pop in the highly secure local Woolies (no cameras or security guard)they would steel cover discs off Amiga magazines, this then led to just knicking the whole mag, then it turned in to a compition as to who could nick the largest thing, this being a large board game and folding chair.

Any way during their kleptomania I would go off and read the Judge Dredd graphic novels, I would wander around reading it, then when finished I would put the now soiled by my grubby hands book back on the shelf.

During one of these reading sessions I wandered out side to talk to a passing mate, after finishing our convasation I looked down and realised I still had the book in my thieving mitts so I just fucked off and still have it to this very day.

Length... you'll never know because you can't catch me copper and fuck off I can't spell!
(Thu 10th Jan 2008, 13:40, More)