b3ta.com user Tibble
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» Festivals

Gatecrasher 08
the wind was so bad it blew a fat girl over right in front of me.
(Mon 8th Jun 2009, 17:32, More)

» My most gullible moment

You know those
Automatic barrier things at car parks? You put your ticket in and it opens?

Well, near me there is a pair of them. One you put your cash in to get in to the car park, the other you simply drive up to and it automatically opens to let you out of the car park.

We told our mate that the gate was operated by a guard who could hear and see you via a camera and mic on the barrier and he gets arsey when you don’t thank him.

Anyway, crap story short, 5 years on and he’s still thanking an automatic barrier.
(Fri 22nd Aug 2008, 16:07, More)

» Public Sex

I wasn't having sex in the park late at night
but I had consumed, along with 6 other friends around 5grams of dried mushrooms.

I'm not sure what the half dressed couple thought of the giggling saucer eyed loons staring at them but I would very much like to publicly apologise for getting down on my hands and knees to get a better look.

I wasn't perving at all, I was just somewhat baffled as to why the bench was gyrating.

sorry.
(Fri 24th Apr 2009, 10:57, More)

» The most childish thing you've done as an adult

You know those people in pubs clubs bars etc that sit down and spread their shit all over the table?
By shit I mean all the stuff in their pockets; wallet, change, fags, car keys and mobile.

Well, when they arn't looking I'll set calandar entrys and clock alarms for stupid times in the morning.

Not because I'm a big child but becuase i'm a cunt.
(Wed 23rd Sep 2009, 12:01, More)

» Social Networking Gaffes

Went to Glastonbury with a few mates
and heard that some birds that visit the local boozer were also going. Although it’s nice to go into a pub and be greeted by 3 near hysterical girls screaming your name and grabbing at you for a hug and ANOTHER FUCKING PHOTO of you for their facebook page is nice now and then, it can wear a bit thin 3-4 times a week. Especially when one of the girls is a filthy cheating whore-bag, one a midget with a personality complex and the other a fat lump with warts on her flaps.

Anyway, back story set. We go to the main stage to see some whiney tosser whinge about some shit and strum a few strings of bollocks on his guitar (Joe Lean and the Jing Jang Jong) when in front of us we notice whorebag.

Being the rather stoned and generally stupid fools we are my friends and I decide to take a picture of her but not say hello (Far from their usual tirade being the point) From my point of perspective this is very funny, so I decide to see how close I can sneak up on her and get photos before she notices me there.

A handful of photos later and I’ve ninja’d through the crowd and managed to get a photo of me and her stood next to each other, my mates pulling faces in the background, her not noticing and looking frankly awful. I upload the photos and myself and mates have a good laugh. This laugh spreads out as more people realise what I’ve done (Many people that frequent the pub get the shouting and touching routine) until some cunt tags her.

Shes not my mate on facebook, I ignore her requests at least once a month but little did I know, once she’s tagged she can see MY photos of her.

Anyway, cue walking into the pub, getting the shouting my name followed by swears, threats of pints down my front and ‘My boyfriend is going to fuck you up’ bullshit.

I spose it’s good in a way, I can walk into the pub, not get touched and make it to the juke box without having to wet wipe my self behind the pool table.
(Wed 17th Sep 2008, 12:23, More)
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