» Banks

Show me your what?!
Whilst sat in HSBC for over an hour trying to fix a balls up they had made, the 'counsellor' I was speaking to left the booth we were in to go find something or other of little importance to this story. While she was gone, I took the opportunity to survey the area for anything that might momentarily relieve me of my boredom. Lo and behold, I spotted a laminated guide to 'good practice' or some such bollocks stuck to her monitor. Amongst such gems of wisdom as 'Keep smiling' and 'Show interest in the clients problems' I spotted the holy grail of hilarious dimwittery that caused me great difficulty in keeping a straight face when she returned. On this guide to good practice were the words:

"Show the customer your knowledgeable."

I can assure you, the irony was not at all wasted on me.

Should any of you wish to observe this first hand, to my knowledgeable they are on every single HSBC monitor in Bath.
(Thu 16th Jul 2009, 18:41, More)

» Dumb things you've done

Mornings suck
Quite a while ago now (2+ years ago), the bulb in the light directly above my bed went out inexplicably. I thought ...hmm, maybe if I flick the switch a few times it will go back on again... not surprisingly, that didn't work. I then came to the conclusion that the bulb had blown, so I removed said blackened bulb and went to find another one. Unfortunately, at the time, there weren't any spares, so I left the blown bulb by the front door to remind myself to pick one up when I next went into town. The day went by without any further delays, and eventually I ended up in bed, asleep.

I then woke up on a nice sunny morning, began my usual morning stretc...ARGH! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL! SOMEONE'S STUCK MY FINGER IN A BLENDER!!!111!! OWW!

That's right kids, I'd managed to stick my finger into a live bulb socket after forgetting whether the switch was on or off and then removing the bulb.
It's a great way to wake yourself up though.

Merry Christmas and whatnot.
(Mon 31st Dec 2007, 20:05, More)