» The thing I've been most ashamed of doing with a penis

A friend from back home (shame by association, or something)
was given to sleepwalking when he was young. Apparently one evening his parents had friends for dinner, and while they sat in the kitchen/diner having after-dinner coffee, he came downstairs in a dreamy daze, opened the oven, pissed in it and went back to bed.
(Tue 17th Mar 2009, 21:25, More)

» The Best / Worst thing I've ever eaten

Drank
petrol. Siphoning out the carb of my first car. It tastes quite spectacular.

I looooove the smell, I could smell it for days. But the taste... yuk. Strangely, diesel tastes a lot better but doesn't smell anywhere near as good.
(Mon 30th May 2011, 22:50, More)

» Pointless Experiments

I thought it was pointless
The other day I experimentally tried to break into a friend's laptop. Surely his Windows password won't be his name... it is. Result.

So I experimentally took a look at his internet history - surely there won't be anything incriminating in there. Everyone knows how to wipe their history, don't they? It turns out that amateurspankings.com, and other such sites, beg to differ.

So actually my experiment wasn't pointless at all! Woo (insert broken pencil joke).
(Fri 25th Jul 2008, 16:00, More)

» My Biggest Disappointment

My first mobile phone
Inspired by Gunter - I was a late adopter of the mobile phone, in fact I'm quite proud of having grown up without one. I finally got one when I was 17. Despite having waited so long to buy one, I didn't really research my purchase and bought the cheapest. And there was a reason for its cheapness. Oh yes.

For, dear reader, this phone was one of those plue plastic flip-open Motorola jobs, with (gasp!) a QWERTY keyboard on! That bit was pretty ace. BUT; it didn't have a speaker, or a microphone. Yes, you had to plug in the handsfree kit to make, or take, a call. Which led to the following happening ALL THE TIME:

*ring ring* Phone's ringing! Someone wants to talk to me! *ring ring* where is it? *ring ring* (frantically fumbling around in rucksack) *ring ring* Yes! Found it! Now where's *ring ring* the damn handsfree kit... (rummage rummage) *ring ring* here it is! NOOOOO there's a big knot in it... must untangle it *ring ring* AAAAARGH DAMN YOU HANDSFREE KIT KNOT COME UNDONE (fumble fumble fumble fumble) *silence*

Fucksocks, it's gone to answerphone again, meaning I have to spend my hard-earned credit listening to someone's rambling answerphone message, AND ring them back again afterwards.

Despite all that, I actually quite miss it. Length - seven rings before cutoff, I never worked out how to change it to ten.
(Wed 2nd Jul 2008, 14:35, More)

» IT Support

I'm not really ashamed to admit this
I have plugged USB devices into the network port of my PC and spent several minutes trying to work out what's wrong. In my defence I'd forgotten that it has two network ports, and so I assumed that since it was on the network already...

I just love how the ports are just the same width though! Don't know why I find that pleasing... but I do.
(Mon 28th Sep 2009, 15:07, More)