Profile for Dick Wonder:
"All art is fucking useless. And that's the beauty of it" - John Cooper Clarke
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Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
- a member for 16 years, 8 months and 15 days
- has posted 8221 messages on the main board
- (of which 53 have appeared on the front page)
- has posted 608 messages on the talk board
- has posted 240 messages on the links board
- (including 46 links)
- has posted 8 stories and 13 replies on question of the week
- They liked 8904 pictures, 531 links, 489 talk posts, and 56 qotw answers. [RSS feed]
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"All art is fucking useless. And that's the beauty of it" - John Cooper Clarke
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b3ta.com/search/posts/DickWonder/best
Recent front page messages:
Ladies and Gentlemen, now the moment no one's been waiting for the world famous taking the piss contest
(Mon 22nd Apr 2024, 17:14, More)
(Mon 22nd Apr 2024, 17:14, More)
Best answers to questions:
» Corporate Idiocy
Mail Order wine for everyone
Mail order wine company intent on sending their catalogue to every address in the country. This frequently led to hysterical, angry, abusive people phoning the call centre demanding to be removed from the mailing list.
Those who took the time to write in were far more polite. My favourites:
A long letter on notepaper in old granny cursive with extensive details on the elderberry and blackberry home-made wine she was making at 16p a bottle and therefore had no need to buy any wine.
The I-think-you-want-my-Dad letter from an eight year old who bemoaned the fact he only got 50p a week pocket money and proudly added he was too young to drink alcohol.
The scary, child-like scrawl from an inmate of HMP Wakefield who was very grateful at being offered the promotion but regretfully informed us that wine was not allowed in prison and even if it was the governor was a right stingy git who wouldn't buy any anyway.
(Tue 28th Feb 2012, 16:00, More)
Mail Order wine for everyone
Mail order wine company intent on sending their catalogue to every address in the country. This frequently led to hysterical, angry, abusive people phoning the call centre demanding to be removed from the mailing list.
Those who took the time to write in were far more polite. My favourites:
A long letter on notepaper in old granny cursive with extensive details on the elderberry and blackberry home-made wine she was making at 16p a bottle and therefore had no need to buy any wine.
The I-think-you-want-my-Dad letter from an eight year old who bemoaned the fact he only got 50p a week pocket money and proudly added he was too young to drink alcohol.
The scary, child-like scrawl from an inmate of HMP Wakefield who was very grateful at being offered the promotion but regretfully informed us that wine was not allowed in prison and even if it was the governor was a right stingy git who wouldn't buy any anyway.
(Tue 28th Feb 2012, 16:00, More)
» I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke
I went to use my drill and a juggling robot suddenly appeared to help me
It threw me a bit
(Thu 30th Mar 2023, 21:48, More)
I went to use my drill and a juggling robot suddenly appeared to help me
It threw me a bit
(Thu 30th Mar 2023, 21:48, More)
» I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke
Which Tory politician pollutes the air every time he takes a piss?
Jacob wees smog
(Wed 30th Nov 2022, 13:24, More)
Which Tory politician pollutes the air every time he takes a piss?
Jacob wees smog
(Wed 30th Nov 2022, 13:24, More)
» B3TA fixes the world
Traffic Warden & Troop switch
All the troops in Afghanistan need to come home and become traffic wardens. They would be much nicer to motorists because they are sane, reasonable people. Also who would argue with them ?
Send all the traffic wardens out to fight the Taliban. Job done.
(Thu 22nd Sep 2011, 18:28, More)
Traffic Warden & Troop switch
All the troops in Afghanistan need to come home and become traffic wardens. They would be much nicer to motorists because they are sane, reasonable people. Also who would argue with them ?
Send all the traffic wardens out to fight the Taliban. Job done.
(Thu 22nd Sep 2011, 18:28, More)