b3ta.com user sniffle
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» Puns

A man entered a pun competition
He entered ten puns in the hope that at least one of them would be worthy of the title. Unfortunately, none of them were very good so he didn't win.
(Fri 6th Mar 2009, 23:21, More)

» Food sabotage

Halloween Naughtiness
My dad hates trick-or-treaters so we conveniently never had anything to give them. I guess the hatred has kinda rubbed off on us a bit. One year my brother and i made them sprouts dipped in white chocolate. For the record, they look but do not taste like ferrero rocher.

We didn't get any trick-or-treaters the next year. But they should've realised - who would waste ferrero rocher on a fat kid in a pointy hat?
(Sat 20th Sep 2008, 9:00, More)

» Customers from Hell

But...what?
I used to work in a little local supermarket, still do in fact. Yesterday a man came up to me and asked if we stocked a particular brand of fruit juice. It's not my specialist area, so with the intention of going to ask someone more cleverer I said 'I'm not sure-' at which point he interrupted me with a knowing nudge and wink and said 'I'm not sure either, I'm Terry' and promptly left the shop. Strange.
(Tue 9th Sep 2008, 11:26, More)

» Puns

Erm..
What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari?

I don't have a garage
(Wed 11th Mar 2009, 18:26, More)

» Customers from Hell

Determined Old Lady Tale
Today at the till next to me an old (but by no means elderly) woman had, unusually, got round the shop, chosen the items she wished to purchase, placed these items in her basket, taken them to the checkout and they had all scanned, no trouble at all.

The problem occurred when it came to entering her PIN, the machine seemed to take it as being entered too soon, and she complained that the buttons weren't all working properly, highly doubtful thought I since it had functioned just fine for the last 4 hours I'd been working.

Anyway after a lot of people got held up the assistant assigned to help this poor woman endeavoured to ask whether or not she used glasses, a suggestion which was flatly rebuked. In fact she announced her PIN to the entire shop and invited the assistant to watch her put it in, when all of a sudden the problem became clear.

She hadn't noticed the top row of buttons (ie. 1 2 3) and instead had been pressing 4 instead of 1, 8 instead of 5 etc, hence why when she pressed 9 the machine took this to be her attempt at entering her PIN. When this was explained to her, she cried 'Oh, this is ridiculous, if I'd known how terrible your keypads are I'd have brought my glasses!' at which point the assistant walked off and I had to finish the transaction myself, trying desperately not to let loose a chuckle in her direction.
(Tue 9th Sep 2008, 23:50, More)
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