» Spoilt Brats

A taste of Honey
I was on holiday in Germany with the wife and we had nipped into the local supermarket there. After we had loaded up with Sauasages etc we waited patiently in the Queue. In the next isle was this guy in his late 20's who you could see was getting quite visibly irratated, why?, well behind him was a Uber Brat, Uber Brat had decided that waiting was boring and so had took control of the shopping trolley and was proceeding to bang it into this guys ankles. After a few minutes the guy asked "Please could you get your child to stop running the trolley into me, it hurts", her reply is the kinda of stuff that breeds future serial killers, "I never tell him to stop doing anything, I allow him to express himself", the guy stood there astonished as we all were, now quite a lot of people were now looking on. The Uber brat now with the backing of the woman that spawned him, drove the trolley as hard as he could into the guys ankles, what the guy did next was superb, he picked up the jar of honey he was waiting to purchase and tipped it up over the kids head and said "Well I am expressing myself too", the look on the brat was priceless as he received his golden shower, everybody started clapping, and the future serial killer and mummy left leaving a golden snail trail!

Length, 100 or so metres of golden dribble
(Tue 14th Oct 2008, 9:47, More)

» School Days

The Zombie school bully
Our school was kind of a finishing school for the the local bully population. So one day it would seem I had committed the ultimate in crimes according to the Holly Bully Bible "thou has met my eyeline so you deserve a beating" he aproached me grunting and showing everyone that he was "the man" and procedes to hang round my neck to put me to the floor to give me a kicking (is this still the school fighting tactic of choice?), well there lies his problem, instead of just hitting me and getting his job done, he just hangs round my neck while I kinda of stood their in bemusement (I am tall and quite stocky so hard to pull down) , well I realised that his head was now under my arm so i kinda just started to choke him a little, his face by now was going purple and a crowd had stood round watching, eventually he cries out "if you break my neck I will kill you" the crowd burst out laughing at the thought of the dead rising to have one more go (I had no intention of hurting him, just wanted him to stop him from hitting me), and I in turn let go of my grip and dropped him to the floor, he scrambled to his feet and ran off into the school. Last I heard was that he became a fully fledged wife beater and is now in prison.
(Wed 4th Feb 2009, 11:01, More)