» Eccentrics

M'landlady
I am the lodger in a house shared with my eccentric landlady.
She collects things:
Fridges: There are 3 fridges in the kitchen.
Filing cabinets: There are 5, also in the kitchen.
Limescale: Every few weeks, she empties the washing machine fluff filter, collects and saves the limescale.
Milk bottle tops: There are hundreds of these.
Toothbrushes: Hundreds, maybe thousands of toothbrushes all over the house. Some old, some new.
Bicycles: She has 4 bicycles. A couple work.
Dead things: There are several dead moths in test tubes inside the fridge. There is also a dead kestrel in a bag in the freezer.
There is a dead snake on top of one of the filing cabinets.
Oh, there might be a dead starling somewhere too, unless it escaped.
One night I got home to find a seagull wandering about on the ground floor. There was a big (seagull shit covered) note with "BEWARE -SEAGULL" written on it.
The next morning, I heard loads of banging and crashing above my room. The seagull had learnt to do stairs. Pretty much everything in the house was shat on and upturned.
Eventually m'landlady returned and let it back into the wild.
She's very odd, but really lovely too. -Incredibly kind and great company! And she puts up with my odd ways too.
(Fri 31st Oct 2008, 21:36, More)

» Stuff I've found

Swords in Lake Windermere
I absolutely swear that this is true.
On a holiday in The Lake District when I was about 8, my family all went out in a rowing boat on Lake Windermere.
Looking down into the water, I clearly saw some swords on the bottom.
Nobody believed me.
My dad, prone to bad moods, rowed on and got more annoyed with me as I insisted that we go back.
Years and years later, on the Antiques Road Show, I saw that several swords had been found in the lake.
My dad can't remember the incident.
BUT IT's FUCCCCKIIIIINGGGGG TRUUUUUEEEEE!!!!!!!!
(Thu 6th Nov 2008, 13:32, More)

» What nonsense did you believe in as a kid?

Until a couple of weeks ago
I believed that the first line of Stevie Wonder's 'I was made to love her' was, "I was born an aardvark, had a childhood sweetheart..." I was singing it to myself the other week, when it dawned on me that this couldn't possibly be the correct lyrics.
(Thu 26th Jan 2012, 2:35, More)

» How clean is your house?

Spaghetti in a carrier bag
I used to play in a band that was lucky enough to fly to New York a couple of times.
On one of these trips, myself and another band member stayed at the record label boss's flat.
We knew that he was a millionaire and expected the accommodation to be pretty nice, however what we found was that:
The floor was covered in crisps, cigarette butts and grit.
The bed (there was only one, so we ended up sleeping on a sofa and the crispy, gritty floor) had stains all over it and plates of half eaten curry on it.
The fridge contained nothing but black mold, a carrier bag of cooked spaghetti and a vegetable drawer full of congealed sweets.
The shower floor was carpeted in pubes.
Nice.
(Fri 26th Mar 2010, 0:30, More)

» The most childish thing you've done as an adult

Pub Quiz
The other day I went to my local pub quiz.
This question came up: Who was Romeo with before Juliet?
My answer: Pooliet.
The name of our team: Sting keep who.
(Fri 18th Sep 2009, 0:53, More)