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- a member for 16 years, 2 months and 3 days
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» My sex misconceptions
No wonder I'm single...
Most violent misconception: That it is ok to wipe the shaft off on her curtains post nookie in her room. When she isnt looking. Usually can be done stealthily enough, with her rarely noticing...
Until the first time you try anal.
(Fri 26th Sep 2008, 9:33, More)
No wonder I'm single...
Most violent misconception: That it is ok to wipe the shaft off on her curtains post nookie in her room. When she isnt looking. Usually can be done stealthily enough, with her rarely noticing...
Until the first time you try anal.
(Fri 26th Sep 2008, 9:33, More)
» Stuff I've found
I found..
..one of my bollocks to be a completely different size to the other one. The scene: 15 years old and full of unworldly paranoia. At the time i also kept my mobile phone in my hip pocket too, and being "strange new radioactive potential devices", I immediately shat a brick. The thought of a radioactive mutated lump of bollock cancer at the ripe age of 15 did not bode well for me. Co-incidently, it also didnt bode well with the GP i visited, who was straining to keep a straight face after hearing the story. Looking back, i can laugh, but nothing beats that simplistic fear of freaky bollocks you get when your a teenager.
Length? 1x4cm, and 1x3cm approx.
(Tue 11th Nov 2008, 10:04, More)
I found..
..one of my bollocks to be a completely different size to the other one. The scene: 15 years old and full of unworldly paranoia. At the time i also kept my mobile phone in my hip pocket too, and being "strange new radioactive potential devices", I immediately shat a brick. The thought of a radioactive mutated lump of bollock cancer at the ripe age of 15 did not bode well for me. Co-incidently, it also didnt bode well with the GP i visited, who was straining to keep a straight face after hearing the story. Looking back, i can laugh, but nothing beats that simplistic fear of freaky bollocks you get when your a teenager.
Length? 1x4cm, and 1x3cm approx.
(Tue 11th Nov 2008, 10:04, More)
» Workplace Boredom
I have worked in many shitty factories...
but in 2006 i took the biscuit. Working constant backshift saw all the regular workies fuck off about 5pm, then by 7pm all the overtime beasts were gone too, as was all of my workload as i usually ramped my machine up to 150% to get finished early. This gave me 3 hours to myself before the nightshift arrived, and as there must have been 6 folk in the entire factory on backshift, none of them management, i was not harrassed remotely during this period. Which was a good thing, as if they ever clocked that i pre-rolled up to 25 spliffs in this period to be taken home and consumed by myself and friends after work, it would have went down like a gay pride march through Bagdad. This also happened daily, and i usually went through 2 ounces of green a month. We actually had competitions to see how many pre rolls we could bring at one point.
Naturally i have changed careers and work ethics since then, but 2006 will always be remembered by me as the most care-free hedonistic time of my life...
(Fri 9th Jan 2009, 16:17, More)
I have worked in many shitty factories...
but in 2006 i took the biscuit. Working constant backshift saw all the regular workies fuck off about 5pm, then by 7pm all the overtime beasts were gone too, as was all of my workload as i usually ramped my machine up to 150% to get finished early. This gave me 3 hours to myself before the nightshift arrived, and as there must have been 6 folk in the entire factory on backshift, none of them management, i was not harrassed remotely during this period. Which was a good thing, as if they ever clocked that i pre-rolled up to 25 spliffs in this period to be taken home and consumed by myself and friends after work, it would have went down like a gay pride march through Bagdad. This also happened daily, and i usually went through 2 ounces of green a month. We actually had competitions to see how many pre rolls we could bring at one point.
Naturally i have changed careers and work ethics since then, but 2006 will always be remembered by me as the most care-free hedonistic time of my life...
(Fri 9th Jan 2009, 16:17, More)
» Common
My home town
...which i left as soon as humanly possible for the Big Smoke of the city lights is the most common place on earth. Whenever i visit home though i am reminded that i am the only one who seems to think this. The place is a dump, its full of tracksuit-wearing yobs, the nightlife is atrocious (and yet despite this the biggest nightclub charges more to get into the place than half of the good clubs in the nearest city. And its a cesspit of granny-fanny. I have seen more fights in that place in one night than i have in the entire social life i have had in the city) The council are more bent than a seven bob note, and the police are like those you would see in a deep south america hick town. Crooked and bored. Yet despite this it claims to be a cultural hertage town bristling with history and sites. It isnt. Its a common as muck hell hole full of graffiti, pompous arsewits and scum. And i'm glad i dont live in its narrow minded streets no more!!
[/rant]
(Fri 17th Oct 2008, 10:02, More)
My home town
...which i left as soon as humanly possible for the Big Smoke of the city lights is the most common place on earth. Whenever i visit home though i am reminded that i am the only one who seems to think this. The place is a dump, its full of tracksuit-wearing yobs, the nightlife is atrocious (and yet despite this the biggest nightclub charges more to get into the place than half of the good clubs in the nearest city. And its a cesspit of granny-fanny. I have seen more fights in that place in one night than i have in the entire social life i have had in the city) The council are more bent than a seven bob note, and the police are like those you would see in a deep south america hick town. Crooked and bored. Yet despite this it claims to be a cultural hertage town bristling with history and sites. It isnt. Its a common as muck hell hole full of graffiti, pompous arsewits and scum. And i'm glad i dont live in its narrow minded streets no more!!
[/rant]
(Fri 17th Oct 2008, 10:02, More)
» Food sabotage
First Post
A good few years ago me and my best mate used to kick about with a total arsehole. To give an example he was caught firing about my ex fiance a week after we broke up. Scum. Well, a wee while before that me and said mate were at arseholes house after a night on the razz. Right on time he had buggered upstairs with some tart (read: the only tart there) and left me and mate on our own in his living room.
Drunkenly miffed at the lack of host skills and generally pissed off at his recent behaviour, we decided to abandon the "party" and leave. But not before i had my revenge.
On the way out i took every grain of sugar out of every recepticle in his house and swapped it into every salt recepticle in his house. And i mean every single one. Quite mild you may think, but by Christ did it seriously mess with his head. Days after My mate was visiting and found him still wondering what the fuck was going on. Sweet fish and chips and coffee that gave him the boke. Such a simple thing can totally mess with someones life, you just gotta mess with the routine!
(Tue 23rd Sep 2008, 10:27, More)
First Post
A good few years ago me and my best mate used to kick about with a total arsehole. To give an example he was caught firing about my ex fiance a week after we broke up. Scum. Well, a wee while before that me and said mate were at arseholes house after a night on the razz. Right on time he had buggered upstairs with some tart (read: the only tart there) and left me and mate on our own in his living room.
Drunkenly miffed at the lack of host skills and generally pissed off at his recent behaviour, we decided to abandon the "party" and leave. But not before i had my revenge.
On the way out i took every grain of sugar out of every recepticle in his house and swapped it into every salt recepticle in his house. And i mean every single one. Quite mild you may think, but by Christ did it seriously mess with his head. Days after My mate was visiting and found him still wondering what the fuck was going on. Sweet fish and chips and coffee that gave him the boke. Such a simple thing can totally mess with someones life, you just gotta mess with the routine!
(Tue 23rd Sep 2008, 10:27, More)