» Bullies

cunty-balls
first post and all that jazz

was bullied for years by this little shit from school. he was ginger for fuck sake. i got bullied by a ginger kid. :(

anywhos, id come back to england (living abroad now) to meet some mates, one of them happening to be your run of the mill metal head mentalist, who will out drink you, and then give you a dead arm for shits and giggles. best friend you could wish for. he's also fucking hard. with a mullet to boot. if my wife wasnt so awesome, i'd marry him, i know the dress i'd wear and all.

so yeah, i'm in the pub and the ginger turd comes over and starts off from where he'd left, calling me a batty boy and threatening to punch me.

my mate talking to my wife, spots this, and hearing stories of the me being bullied by a ginger from previous nights in the pub, puts two and two together, and figures this is the guy.

he walks over, grabs the ginger turd by his balls, drags him over to his table and, with a vice like grip (from all those years of wanking and playing his guitar) forces the ginger turd to explain how he likes watching other men piss in the toilets. ginger turds friends cant decide if they should step up and rescue their friend, or carry on wetting themselves with laughter.

they opted for the latter, and we all watched as the guy who bullied me for years stood in a pub telling everybody (in an increasingly high pitch voice) that he likes watching men pee.

apologies for spelling, but as you may guess, i was educated in an english school.
(Wed 13th May 2009, 22:17, More)

» Banks

change of name
A while back I attempted to change my name and address (I was moving to a place far far away where Santa lives) and went in to my bank with the relevant paperwork.

2 months later I still hadn't received my new card at my new address, and I had been told by my parents that they were still receiving letters in my old name.

I rang up the bank, and politely asked wtf was going on. They told me that they were aware I had come into the branch and dealt with Mrs "Obviously-too-fucking-thick-to-deal-with-peoples-bank-accounts", but she had not sent these files to head office.

A moment of silence.

"Can you send them to the head office then please?"
"No, we need you to come in and re-fill the paperwork"
"Can you pay for my flights back to England so i can pop in?"
"..........You live outside of the UK?"
"Yes, I have been trying to change my name and address with you for 2 months, and you have the files in your hand"
"Well obviously we can't pay for your flights, but you should check your bank balance online as I see you have been going over drawn and there are several hundred pounds of charges to come off next month"
"I don't need to use an online service to check my account, nor do I need to use telephone banking, it's not in my contract, where as You sending my statements, cards and all other letters to my correct address is"

(booyahhhh)

"But you should use the internet....."
"And can i trust your service to be reliable and secure? As you may be aware you have sent my letters to the wrong address and my card and pin number"
"We would never knowingly do that"
"Which country do i live in?"
"Finland"
"How long have you known?"
"2 months"
"Where have you been sending my letters for 2 months?"
"long long address ending in... England"

"Sooooo... You can't get the country right"



This went on for a while. Eventually I was told that I wouldn't be charged for their mistake, and that when I am next in England I should pop in and sort it out.

I didn't use my card here in Finland as there was a) fuck all money on it and b) I don't feel right using a card that is not in my name (in Finland anything over €50 requires ID and my ID is in my new name)

7 months later, My parents had told me that they were receiving calls from the bailiffs regarding my account. They had told the bailiffs where to go (with the relevant legal terms) and the bailiffs apologised for the phone call and never bothered them again.

I couldn't believe it. I happened to be going back to England so I made an appointment with my bank manageress for the first morning I was back in England.

I went in, and was as polite as possible, but obviously rather annoyed. I got my new name and new address, but the charges were staying, or so i thought. My bank manager (who had actually only started working there 2 weeks previous) told me what to put in a letter to their head office and gave me the fax number to get it there avoiding Royal Mail.

Within a week, all charges (which had some how gotten up to £800, after i had the original charges taken off and not touched the card after) were put back and waiting for me when i got back was a letter from my bank to my new name and at my new address.

That was a year ago, and still nothing has arrived since. I haven't used the card since, but got a phone call (or rather a voice mail) saying that there seemed to be problems with my account. I rang back, and they said that it was all charges. After i had them dropped, got my account to £0.00 with no overdraft.

I'm going back in a few weeks. And have already booked a meeting with my bank manageress.

The Shitty Bank really do suck... and can see why they just use the first letters of their name.

Sorry for lack of funny. No wait, fuck it, I'm not.

I do apologise for the bad spelling but I went to a school in INGEEEEEERLAAAAHND
(Mon 20th Jul 2009, 20:29, More)