» Helicopter Parents

Being sat down by my mum at age 13
with a bannana.

And being shown how to put a nodder on.

Still makes me shudder.
(Thu 17th Sep 2009, 12:52, More)

» Conspiracy theory nutters

Sometimes I wonder if the Matrix is real
and we're all not really here. Is this really steak that Im eating? It makes me go into a daze for days on end and nothing and no one can stop me from being catatonic and just sitting round drooling. I've got an important job too, but when I get like this I just disappear and nobody can get hold of me until I pull myself together.

Yours sincerely,

Gordon Brown
(Tue 1st Sep 2009, 16:17, More)

» IT Support

It was terrible a few years back
when the entire IT support population went into mourning. They were inconsolable for days.

Nevermind.

You can only cancel Xena Warrior Princess once.
(Thu 24th Sep 2009, 16:31, More)

» Conspiracy theory nutters

I've heard that if you WIN QOTW
you get a statue made of yourself in the high internet temple, and you have all your bills paid for you for a year and you get a small country named after yourself. Is this true? It must be! Somebody in a dirty raincoat told me at a bus stop.
(Thu 3rd Sep 2009, 11:25, More)

» The most childish thing you've done as an adult

My most popular childish thing
Is when someone sneezes I look at them with absolute disgust and say in my meanest, harshest voice: "You dirty fucker!"

Works best with children and nuns.
(Wed 23rd Sep 2009, 11:14, More)