» Prejudice

Disabled
Yep - I am a fully-paid-up member of the spaz fraternity. It's quite obvious by looking. The crutches are a bit of a giveaway. Keep the crutch jokes; I've heard them all before. I was perfectly healthy until the age of 18, when I was in an accident. In the 5 1/2 years intervening, I've learnt a lot of new stuff about the world.

For example, on Friday, I met my fiance from work and took the train home with him. The train pulled in as we were only just reaching the platform, so we had to hurry as best we could to catch it. From behind me, I can hear "Love! Scuse me, love! Scuse me! Love, can I get by? Scuse me, love!" Now, as we're all going for the same train, we're all going to catch it. In a display of consideration, my fiance moves to let this Jeremy-Kyle-reject-mouth-breather through. She's got sixteen kids in tow, and is a genuine Waynetta. This isn't pure snobbery, mind - I grew up in a one-parent family and we still managed to wash our hair and sponge the stray food off our clothes. As soon as she gets past me, Waynetta clocks my stick and starts bellowing to her kids "Oi! Hold the door for the lady! Chardonnay, hold the door for the lady!", then turns to me and starts with the "will you be alright, love?" I've been catching this train for 3 1/2 years, I know I'll get on it safely and in time. As we draw level with the door her kid is holding, I walk straight by, to the next carriage and get on there. Somewhere in the distance, I hear Waynetta go "Oh!", apparently surprised that the poor, vulnerable, useless cripple has rejected her kind offer and displayed some self-directed thinking.

I know she was trying to do what she understood to be the right thing, and I know she was genuinely trying to help, but I am actually capable of catching a train, opening a door, dressing and feeding myself without the assistance of anyone else. I think a lot of people don't know what to do for the best when confronted with someone like me, possibly even some b3tans, but take it from me: assume nothing, ask "is there anything I can do to help?" and if we say no, leave it.

My big problem with discrimination is that people assume I'm incapable. I've got a spazzy leg - my brain's fine, that's how come I managed to complete a three-year Honours degree. Potential employers seem to assume I'll want lifts and ramps installed and take two of every three working days off sick and then sue them if they so much as look at my stick - I've never lost a day due to my leg, apart from 10 days after my most recent operation, which a nurse forced me to take and I didn't actually want. Still, at every single job interview I attend, I'm asked about it. The Equality Bill makes this illegal, but it can't force them to hire me. I believe this is why I've been unemployed for the last 18 months.

When I started learning to drive, I was asked "are you sure you should be doing that? Are you sure you're alright to?" (by my own mother-in-law, no less). The DVLA says I'm fine, won't even limit my license to an automatic, even though I freely admit that's all I can drive (can't use a clutch, you see)

Worse even than all of this is the news story that broke early last year - 70 per cent of people surveyed said they'd never, ever even consider having sex with a disabled person, and 25 per cent said they'd think about it but might not do it. WOO! 3 per cent of the population would sleep with me! Just as well I'm engaged. Admittedly you have to take into account the individual person's impairment, but for 70 per cent to dismiss it out of hand is ridiculous. Seriously, you won't get put on a register or anything. You might even enjoy it.

Apologies for length and lack of funnies - this is a serious QOTW.
(Sun 4th Apr 2010, 12:25, More)

» Good Advice

Distilled from a man who has had two major car crashes and two bouts of meningitis....
"You woke up this morning. Make the most of it. Every day is a good day when you're walking around on the grass, not laying underneath it."
(Sat 22nd May 2010, 23:26, More)

» Good Advice

Also
"Never pass up the chance for a pee"
(Sat 22nd May 2010, 23:47, More)

» Breasts

Maybe some b3ta women will agree with me...
...a little while ago, at a party full of people who should have known better, some girl mates and I fell into conversation about whether or not it's possible to admire another girl's norks without necessarily having to be bisexual. Because of our chosen social scene, a lot of women we know wear tight-laced and/or steel-boned corsets, which do amazing things to even the littlest boobs. We agreed it was possible to make an objective judgment about the aesthetic qualities of another woman's tits without fancying her. Is this the case, or are we just a load of closet cases?
(Sat 8th May 2010, 0:47, More)

» Amazing displays of ignorance

Mother-in-law
Some time ago, Bloke and I went to the pub, and stayed at his house. The next day, we both woke up feeling rough. Wasn't a hangover, neither of us had been drinking. When he explained to his mother that we weren't feeling well, and that we definitel weren't hung over because we'd only had Coke (actual Coke) all night, she diagnosed the following:

"Oh, you've got Coke poisoning. That can happen if you drink too much of it. It's got cocaine in it, you know."

We had had between a pint and two pints of coke each. This would be standard-issue pub coke, which may be watered down but contains absolutely 0 per cent cocaine, even in Essex. The conversation went on for a good 15 minutes, yet she was adamant; she may well still have utter faith in her diagnosis.

It was a stomach bug...
(Sun 21st Mar 2010, 22:20, More)