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» Dad stories

Aged 4
My first brush with April Fools day.

Loving dad comes in to the playroom with a couple of squashes for me and the brother. Dear older brother, accustomed to what I would grow to fear every year, takes a tentative sip.

I on the other hand, an innocent lamb, greedily gulped down the squash. A spray of fine early morning vomit gushes out of my gullet and nostrils. Looking through the tears of shock I see a mass of undissolved salt in the bottom of my beaker. The bastard filled the squash with so much salt it refused to dissolve any more in. The waves of nausea pass while dad is pissing himself laughing.

Length? There was a good 2 inches of salt left in the bottom of that beaker.
(Thu 25th Nov 2010, 15:51, More)

» Unusual talents

I can
emulate sex with my hand.
(Fri 19th Nov 2010, 15:16, More)

» Drugs

Everything's drugs when you think about it.
Coffee, Tabasco, wasps, tyres, clothes, Vimto.
(Tue 21st Sep 2010, 15:45, More)

» The B3TA Confessional

I don't like cricket.
It is fucking dull.
(Wed 1st Sep 2010, 0:34, More)

» Waste of money

I just brought a soul.
Lets hope I don't get swindled!
(Mon 4th Oct 2010, 17:35, More)
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