» Ouch!

painful giggles
Sitting here reading QOTW and wincing at all the painful stories. I am however also giggling and snorting at the pain felt by others. Having some quite bad aches from a back injury that leads to cramping the inappropriate guilty laughter at other peoples pain stories is leaving me in painful contortions.
(Thu 29th Jul 2010, 20:17, More)

» Lies that got out of control

just a few more minutes
Languishing along on a rainy day, no motivation at all, surfing the web for something to while away the time.

I was reading some stuff and getting bore with the subject so I clicked on a different link and found that the question had been changed.

Now that was a beautiful moment.
(Thu 12th Aug 2010, 13:40, More)

» Beautiful Moments, Part Two

The Ork and the scout
A rather cool day in early fall. Slight drizzle. Grey skies all around promising an absolute lack of sunshine.
In other words, perfect weather for a LARP.

Having chosen to provide services to the GMs as an NPC or, as others would say, whoring myself out to receive cheaper accomodations, I found myself overlooking a farm track along a woodline in the guise of an ork. As the plan went I was a lookout for a group of other orks tasked with alerting them to approaching players in order to initiate an ambush. As reality went, the other orks were busy drying wet socks around the campfire, making an ambush unlikely ay best.
Before assuming my post I had chosen to forego the clamminess of a jerkin over the warmth of a bare torso equipped with permanent insulation in the form of subcutaeneous fatty tissue. Suitably dressed in a kiltlike device with matching boots the lack of covered skin meant the illusion of orkish appearance had to be provided by a generous coat of camo greasepaint.
Giving up on trying to determine the location of the sun to gauge the time of day I snuck a glance at the digital temporal demon I had painstakingly concealed in my sock and found I had yet another hour to wait. Dragging my weary gaze down the muddy track once more a human scout caught my attention. This bedraggled creature seemed completely unaware of the danger it was walking into. Like a deer it made its shy way down the track looking about furtively and completely missing the poorly concealed personification of chaos until the last moment. From no more than ten steps away the ork launched himself at him who, with a girly squeal, bolted into the woods. Giving chase I immediately realized the utter hopelessness of my pursuit as I heaved my overweight frame around the trees trying in vain to match the others nimble moves through the trees.
I was close to giving up the chase when the circumnavigation of a rather large fallen oak slowed his progress. Upon seeing the amount of broken limbs lying scattered about it and judging the level of decay of the tree to be sufficient a course was plotted through the main part of the trees crown. Several loud crunching and snapping noises later my prey turned around to view the source of the sounds only to be confronted by what I like to think of as myself, looking fearsome in my getup, exploding through this fallen tree, a cloud of smashed deadwood spreading in slow motion before my path of titanic destruction. In any case he turned and accelerated as I slowed down, knowing in my straining heart that further pursuit was a waste of energy.
Proudly I stood surveying the damage to the old rotten oak, satisfied in the knowledge that on this day I had put THE FEAR into a fellow LARPer. Smiling to myself on the short walk back into camp I decided to berate my comrads in arms for their failure to show at my shout before retiring to my tent for a well deserved nap.
(Fri 6th Aug 2010, 6:43, More)

» Guilty Laughs

Drunk and uncoordinated
Having come to the conclusion, not without extensive research, that alcoholic beverages were no longer for me I found myself the designated driver at my uncle's birthday bash. Being a round number a suitable facility had been hired and a buffet/dj/bar laid on. This of course led to a number of guests needing their car keys confiscated and conducted home.
The inappropriate laughter occurred when the revelers were led to the vehicle pulled up in front. Getting dirty and/or embarrassed looks from the spouses of people that one is about to drive home because of ones laughter at their inability to negotiate a few steps of stairs and sidewalk is decidedly uncomforable.
The most notable contestants were the gentleman that started drifting down the slanted sidewalk, restrained from entering the roadway at the last second by a stopsign and the guy I had to haul out of a prickly hedge he had tried to sit on. The latter draped himself nicely over a fence upon reaching his abode.
At least noone hurled in the car...
(Tue 27th Jul 2010, 11:03, More)