b3ta.com user Vinnie Strokes
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I'm happy :-)

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none

Best answers to questions:

» Lies that went on too long

The Immaculate Conception...
Srsly.
(Sat 10th Mar 2012, 14:24, More)

» Easiest Job Ever

Got a blowjob once...
That was pretty easy.
(Thu 9th Sep 2010, 21:16, More)

» Narrow Escapes

One of many "Oh shit" moments on two wheels..
Coming home from work on my bike (Honda CB400 at the time) like any other January evening on a quiet two lane B road, I approach a tractor ahead and prepare to overtake.. Mirror, signal, position, speed, look, all good, take another look over my shoulder as I start to move right and good thing I did because the car behind chose to ignore my signal, position etc and force it's way past.

I managed to straighten up within inches of being reduced to mincemeat and gravy with a car on one side and a tractor on the other. (When I say inches I mean if I'd had a full english that morning I wouldn't have fitted in the space I found myself occupying, more like millimetres)

I followed the car for about 7-8 miles (it was going my way) then I saw it pull in at the next village. I decided to follow for a "chat" about what had transpired. I didn't approach, just calmly stopped nearby yet she wouldn't even get out of the car until she'd sent her daughter to fetch her husband LOL.

Turns out I had more to fear from her than her husband, she went fucking psycho! Realising I was wasting my breath and was in fact likely to be attacked by this raging dragon whore of a woman I opted to go home and get drunk as opposed to spending the weekend in a cell on account of putting my boot where it so rightly belonged. (In her fanny)

Another point of interest which I realised later (while scraping the shit out of my socks) was that this happened on Friday the 13th! (2006)

Moral of the story, menopausal psycho dragonesses are fucking dangerous behind the wheel and woe betide anyone who tries to call them to account on the matter. Take care my fellow road users.
(Fri 20th Aug 2010, 0:12, More)

» Shit Holidays

Practically every holiday I've been on..
I've had the shits.
(Tue 19th Aug 2014, 2:42, More)

» It's Not What It Looks Like!

Came home from work to find...
My Mum had popped round and was in the process of reading a delivery note for a parcel that had just been delivered... With my name on it...

Oh the shame! It was full of assorted sex toys. Not the cheeky Anne Summers type toys, proper hardcore perverse stuff.
(Thu 9th Dec 2010, 23:25, More)
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