» B3TA fixes the world

Kushan's post reminded me of something I've been trying to put into effect.
Bacon to count towards one of your 5-a-day.
(Fri 23rd Sep 2011, 20:49, More)

» Weird Rituals

When driving...
I use my mirror, signal and then manoeuvre. Rather than just manoeuvre and occasionally signalling half way through.
(Sat 17th Dec 2011, 19:56, More)

» Losing it

I'm a self-certified insomniac.
So I quite regularly have periods where I wonder what the hell is going on and have to concentrate to try and decide if I'm dreaming, or not. Quite often it's just frustrating, like right now I'm more tired than a tired thing that studied at tired university and majored in staring at the ceiling. Most of the things are fairly mundane.

Like when I was working for a small company, as the sole programmer, doing about 3 people's jobs. I went to the cash machine and withdrew £20, but walked away with just my bank card and no money. It was only a few feet from the machine that I realised, but the knob tickler that was behind me had obviously taken the money and buggered off!

Most of the weird things that happen, happen in that period of sleep where you're not quite asleep, but not quite awake either. For example, jerking awake and wondering why there's a bright light shining through my window and coming to the conclusion that there couldn't possibly be a bright light shining through my window, so I must be somewhere else other than my flat. Then spending the next 10 minutes stumbling around, turning all the lights on to convince myself that I was in fact in my flat. I still have no idea what the light was, or if the light was even real.

I also quite regularly experience a phenomenon that I can't remember the name of. You basically imagine that a shadowy creature is hovering over your bed, looking like something from the Dark Crystal. They descend upon you, clearly looking to do you harm, when suddenly you wake up and have to check that you haven't shat yourself.

Finally, the most realistic event was actually a nice one. It's the one that's stayed with me for quite some time. It was a good few years ago, I was living on my own in a flat in Glasgow and I wasn't doing particularly well. My insomnia was bothering me, amongst other things. I was drifting off to sleep in my tiny bedroom, just barely big enough to fit a double bed and a hip-height bookcase at the end of it. I turned over in my sleep and realised there was someone sitting on the bookcase, no idea who it was, but it jerked me awake (no, not like that!). Of course there was no one there, so I just went back to sleep. A few minutes later he's back, but this time he gets up and walks out the room and smiles and nods to me as he leaves, as though to suggest that everything is going to be ok.

I'm not normally one to believe in the supernatural, but something about that moment made me feel ok, for the first time in a long while. My Swedish friend tells me it was my guardian angel, or some spirit who was watching over me. I'm not so sure, I just think that was me finally losing it!

Hopefully this has now been boring enough to send me to sleep...
(Fri 22nd Jul 2011, 4:10, More)

» Filth!

Crows
A while back I was out camping with some friends. I don't know if I drank too much or just ate too much, but I had to stagger out my tent to be sick.

Unfortunately, in the morning I discovered I didn't get too far when I was woken up by a bunch of crows fighting over the chunky bits.
(Sat 4th Feb 2012, 21:12, More)

» Weird Rituals

Whenever I shag your mum/wife/sister
I always have to have a biscuit afterwards.

But only if your dad's left a cup of tea without me noticing.
(Mon 19th Dec 2011, 16:32, More)