morning

click for big
(Thu 12th May 2005, 9:26, More)

yes

a nice long one.

ha! so nice b3ta fp'd it twice.
(Wed 23rd Mar 2005, 6:41, More)

BAD KITTY!

(Sun 13th Mar 2005, 5:26, More)

(Sat 4th Oct 2003, 7:03, More)

(Mon 29th Sep 2003, 21:50, More)

reworked an idea...
from this
www.b3ta.com/board/1884751
to this

click for nice wallpaper
(Tue 2nd Sep 2003, 8:13, More)

I ♥ weebl
(Sat 16th Aug 2003, 11:45, More)

the other mascots finally had enough of Jack's behavior

see part one posted early this morning
(Fri 11th Jul 2003, 14:01, More)

pesky bugger

(Fri 4th Jul 2003, 12:19, More)

(Tue 1st Jul 2003, 7:30, More)

thank you magic donkey!
(Fri 13th Jun 2003, 17:35, More)

(Mon 26th May 2003, 12:45, More)

(Sun 25th May 2003, 11:05, More)

she loved the night life, she loved to boogie...

thanks to Aubergene for the source bunny, said he couldn't find a suitable handbag, hope this will do
afternoon all : )
(Sat 24th May 2003, 13:57, More)

the sisypoosbeetle


oh my, three fp's at once. thank you magic donkey!
(Sun 18th May 2003, 0:50, More)

I think someone's watching...

don't be daft luv, no one's about. now back to it.
(Sat 17th May 2003, 17:00, More)

boing

(Sat 17th May 2003, 10:07, More)

cheeky pastry

morning : )
(Thu 8th May 2003, 9:45, More)

Baby animal playtime had become a bit hard on the zookeeper after the arrival of little Eldin.

(Thu 1st May 2003, 16:56, More)

zookeepers find odd ways to pass the time...

chefs do too
morning all.
(Tue 29th Apr 2003, 14:29, More)

furtive junior
was a bit shy at his media debut.

(Mon 21st Apr 2003, 18:48, More)

gah
I'm too fluffy today

happy holiday all!
(Sun 20th Apr 2003, 12:29, More)

Last gentlemen!
and not a moment too soon...

another day
(Mon 14th Apr 2003, 10:37, More)

'allo, 'allo....

anyone there?

edit: someone posted a link to the original the other night challenging anyone to 'shop it.
ta to who ever it was for the source.
(Thu 3rd Apr 2003, 19:02, More)

hey sweet thing, fancy a go?

no? can't blame a rhino for trying.
(Mon 31st Mar 2003, 10:21, More)

cab queues would look a bit different...
heil taxi

can you tell it's waterloo station?
(Fri 28th Mar 2003, 22:55, More)

awwww mum pleeeez, muuuuuuuuuum!

crap, optimisation arsed it up, clicky for bigness (726k)

edit - gah! server went down - moved it to another -
sorry for the dreaded red x-ness
(Fri 21st Mar 2003, 13:12, More)

ha!
and I'll give you a repost for that

(original was at www.b3ta.com/board/788901
but after it got archived in a fit of stupidity clicked the wrong thingy and deleted my whole msn album)
(Thu 20th Mar 2003, 2:15, More)

Put off by Fifi's haughtiness,

Reggie decided the old exploding fag trick was in order.
(Wed 19th Mar 2003, 16:11, More)

some of the guys here have been a bit down lately.
so to cheer them up I shopped them a kitten.

(Sun 9th Mar 2003, 14:28, More)

you...will...obey...

crap optimisation, fuck it...
(Fri 7th Mar 2003, 11:13, More)

the french can be so unreliable
always sneaking off for a bit of bagguette and cheese.

so, am I too late for french day?
(Wed 5th Mar 2003, 9:45, More)

princess muffin sweetie boots didn't care what anyone said,
she quite enjoyed her new prehensile tail.

(Tue 4th Mar 2003, 10:51, More)

those new roadsigns are gettting a bit explicit..

morning all.
(Tue 4th Mar 2003, 9:58, More)

robby's star had fallen...
the only gig he could get was at the aquarium.

edit: thank you magic donkey!

edit edit: thank you mrcookieface!!
(Sat 1st Mar 2003, 14:40, More)

» Pure Ignorance

Upon seeing the organ donor sticker
on my driver's license, an actual adult once told me that after I'm dead not having all of my parts would make me too sick to survive in heaven.
(Fri 7th Jan 2005, 3:46, More)

» Fire!

ok, this was posted in the misunderstood QOTW, but relevent.
Around age three or so I was boarded out for several months while my mother recovered from surgery. I stayed with family friends who had just moved to the area and had very thick accents. Their verbal influence shall we say truly fucked up my burgeoning vocabulary.

Shortly after returning home, as I played with pots and other sundry utensils on the kitchen floor, a cast iron skillet suddenly burst into flames on a burner someone had inadvertently left on.

Shrieking "FIRE FIRE", I ran to my parent's room only to have them try to fob me off with the likes of "Don't worry, it can't hurt you" and "It will go away on it's own".
Not until the smoke started to billow past where I was still jumping and shreiking and into their room did they realise that I wasn't screaming "SPIDER SPIDER".

I'll never forget the sight of mother trying to douse the fire with teacups of dishwater (which of course made the grease fire worse) or father flinging that flaming skillet through the window with the remnants of the breakfast sausages flying out of it like miniature meteorites, in turn starting small fires of their own.

The moral of the story is twofold. Never ignore your child when they are frightened, no matter how silly it may seem and always open the window before attempting to toss flaming objects through it.
(Thu 3rd Nov 2005, 16:44, More)

» Stupid Tourists

At a pension in Brussels
a traveling companion complained about having to take baths as he preferred to shower and hoped the next place we stayed at would have showers. I pointed out the door marked "douche" and said he'd find the shower in there.

He got angry at me as I was "clearly taking the piss and he did not want to be subjected to the sight of a room full of feminine hygiene apparatus".

He also thought Europe was crammed full of lesbians due to seeing lots of ladies taking their evening walks arm in arm.

And one more thing, those weren't funny little hidden fountains, they're where men go to pee, so if you're still showing those pictures of "public art" to whatever new group of people you're inflicting your presence upon, I hope they all quickly recognize you for the ignorant cunt you are.

The mind boggles.
(Thu 7th Jul 2005, 21:07, More)

» Things you've done when you've had no money.

Some years back
in Cambridge (US, not UK) there was a city ordinance that bars and clubs had to have condom vending machines. For some reason, they were always in the gents never the ladies, but I'm not shy ; ). Anyway it seems there was one company supplying a lot of the places and they used free standing dispensers. You could easily pick these up and shake out all the coins and condoms. Kept me in pints, supplied me with laundrymat change and more than took care of my birth control needs for about a year until they wised up and started mounting them on the walls.

I guess putting them on the walls wasn't foolproof as one night I came out to my car to find one in the front seat. Never found out who put it there.
(Sun 10th Oct 2004, 21:53, More)

» Things you've done when you've had no money.


walking through the week-end open air produce market in chef whites and clogs is always good for free samples. "hey chef! hey chef try this!". usually good for the makings of a weeks worth of vegetable soup.

tip - say you only have a little cash and you really only need
* insert something exotic or just out of season* for tonight's menu and will be sure to come back next week for some of their lovely wares.
(Fri 8th Oct 2004, 22:14, More)