Stolen milk
There is a communal kitchen at my work, in it is a shared fridge. In which I put my milk for tea and cereal in the morning. This is often stolen and used by other people. I have come to terms with this fact there is nothing you can do. I've tried signs on the fridge saying buy your own milk, but as you could imagine it has no effect. Now I went to the supermarket at lunch time and they had a pack of 3 Magnum ice creams in a by one get on free offer. So I brought them and stored them in the freezer compartment of the shared fridge at work. I left them for the next two days due to a work course and not going home. I then went to pick them up to take them home and someone had ripped the corner of one of the boxes and stole a magnum. This annoyed me, milk fair enough but a mans magnum that’s a step to far. The next day I put this sign on the fridge: -
"To whom ever it was that stole the Magnum Ice cream out of the fridge. I hope you are happy with yourself. My Son is in hospital with terminal cancer and it was his birthday the other day. He could only have a few friends (5 to be precise) from the ward in his room to celebrate, due to him being very weak and fragile. As a treat I had brought Magnums for him and his friends. Now one was missing and little Timmy (5yrs) missed out, giving his unselfishly to my son, as it was his birthday. Poor little Timmy died that very evening, having never had his last magnum."
( BindiBaji, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 13:11, 14 replies)

Would surely have been simpler
To jizz in the milk and leave it for the thieves to enjoy
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 14:29, closed)

Here, here. I would have gone for the piss/spit/jizz in the milk option. No need for anyone ever to find out and you can just sit there watching them drink their stolen milk body fluid tea.
(el perro grande, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 15:17, closed)

Physical actions I've done, pubes in the milk..etc
I went for a diffrent approach.
( BindiBaji, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 15:40, closed)

This
A friend of mine was having a similar problem when he flat shared a few years ago. In the end he decided to take the perfectly reasonable step of leaving some cat-food sandwiches and a pissed in bottle of coca cola in the fridge, both were consumed.


Alternatively you could just have a word when everybody is in the same room.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 16:01, closed)

The problem with milk thiefs.
If you ask them not to steal other peoples milk. They will say without a shadow of a doubt "I never have other peoples milk and I would never take milk that isn't mine". Milk theifs are like peadophiles they don't realise what they are doing is wrong.
( BindiBaji, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 16:20, closed)

Ah
Go for option A then.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 16:22, closed)

this is why
when everyone is in the room, and you just noticed your milk went down, you randomly announce "Yay, the milk thief used the sabotaged bottle!"

Just leave it at that...no need to go further...yet.
(bblgoose, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 19:35, closed)

This reply made me laugh faaaar too much
that is all.
(Clarabelle is reverting to type on, Wed 20 Jan 2010, 18:52, closed)

Laxatives in the milk.
Swap labels on new milk with gone-off milk.
etc.
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Fri 15 Jan 2010, 15:55, closed)

Yoghurt
A woman at work put a note on the fridge that somebody had stolen her yoghurt from the fridge. And it was for her medical condition.
Wasn’t the best note written in her thrush ridden life that’s for sure… signing her name after it didn't help either.
(wobbler, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 19:29, closed)

Pfft
I'd heard of that but I wasn't sure of the practical application.
www.ehow.com/video_4997574_treat-yeast-infection-yogurt.html
It's as I imagined apart from the frozen yoghurt tampons.
( BindiBaji, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 22:24, closed)

Can I suggest..
that you buy a small bottle of food colouring and ad a few drops to your milk. No one touches green or blue milk :)
(Is this it like eggs but better, Sat 16 Jan 2010, 13:27, closed)

Haha
You Sir are a Genius.
( BindiBaji, Sat 16 Jan 2010, 14:42, closed)

thieving bastards
The other thing that has worked for me in the past is to transfer the milk to an opaque drink bottle. Do make sure you clean it well each time you refill it though.

I also found that there was one particular person who kept stealing my milk and when I found shaming him in front of the department was unsuccessful (he actually took it right in front of me without evening considering asking, so I told him off like a small child) I just drank from the carton in front of him and it actually grossed him out enough that he never did it again.
(xanthine, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 4:44, closed)