not quite babysitting, not quite being a nonce
I took my then 9 year old daughter up the local town park last summer and we had a bit of a kick-about, jumpers for goalposts etc, and we were having much fun, with my comedy goalkeeping and running commentary.
As the time passed, we got a few lookers on behind the goal, and eventually, after the kids had plucked up the courage to ask to join in, we ended up with a situation of having 9 or 10 kids (various ages, both sexes)playing one goal and through, with me between the sticks, still doing the commentary and cheating outrageously to keep them amused.
Two hours into this fest of football, two community support officers came around the corner and asked me if one of the kids was called Frankie, well one was called Frankie, a young lass who was happily trouncing the lads at football, and bloody loving it.
Frankie had been due home an hour and a half ago, and her parents had been (rightfully) worried that she hadn't come home.
Bearing in mind we were in an extremely crowded public park, having a loud and energetic football-a-thon, the fake coppers proceeded to interrogate me as to my intentions towards the kids, how many were mine (!) what their names were (I had gotten all their names for the sake of my commentary) and basically made me feel like a massive paedophile for encouraging a group of kids who hadn't previously known each other (not all of them turned up together of course) to enjoy a game of football, make new friends, all in good fun and all the while entertaining my own daughter, who was having the time of her life with all these new friends and watching her dads comedy dives letting in absolute daisy shots and the like.
Never been made to feel so fucking small and dangerous, all because I supervised a bunch of kids in a Sunday afternoon kick about. Fucking cunting coppers could SEE what was going on, bellends, and I had no objections to them taking Frankie back home (the bit of their job they did well) but no need to make me out to be a dangerous nutter.
So, fuck babysitting, If I cant spend a few hours in the sun kicking a ball with all the dangerous intentions of letting a few soft shots in, then kids can fuck off. Along with community support wankers in their yellow coats up their own arses wankers. Fucked if I want to be left alone with one, I'll probably get arrested for tucking the cunts in!
/BITTER AS FUCK ABOUT IT!
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 16:42, 29 replies)

oh come on
you're only upset because you didn't get to rape any of them in the bumhole.
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 16:44, closed)

I like to remove the septum and fuck their nos.........

(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 16:58, closed)

/agreement
CSO's are at best ineffective and at worst jobsworths. Ineffective as their powers are so limited and potential jobsworths as they get a jacket and apparently to right to make people feel like scum.

Lodge a complaint and kick up a fuss, you might even get an apology!
(ElectricSexPants would like to be the Sultan of something, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 16:47, closed)

really can't be bothered to be honest,
it was quite cathartic having that rant though!
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 16:57, closed)

It's a well known fact
that nonces usually take their daughters along.....Fucking idiots!
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 16:59, closed)

What was she meant to be? my fucking lookout?
Bellends.
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 17:11, closed)

Common sense should tell you sense isn't always common

(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 17:16, closed)

there's no funnier sight
than a gang of 10-year-olds ripping the piss out of a couple of those fuckwitted power-sponge CSO's
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 17:01, closed)

isn't it a joy?
You just know the CSO's were prefects at school, and they still can't avoid being bullied.
The yellow coats and holier than thou attitude doesn't help.
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 17:10, closed)

i'm just waiting to hear that one of them has been killed
for trying to take booze off an underage teen.
kids are fucking lethal in liverpool!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 17:21, closed)

you would have to be one insane motherfucker
to take booze/drugs off a Scouse kid!
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 17:32, closed)

The times be a changin..
Sounds like the kids had a blast though, that's the important part.
(Vinnie Strokes Got bummed on, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 17:05, closed)

I thought this, I love the little blighters,
I deal blackjack at mobile casino's at weekends, for pocket money, no real money changes hands, you may have been to the kind of thing.
GUARANTEED, I end up dealing blackjack to a load of kids cos the adults are all pissed/dancing/fighting and I am basically a creche.
These are always the best nights, I'll get the kids to deal, I'll tell them all the jokes my dad told me when I was a kid (the clean one's) and everyone has a good night.
It's all about the kids.
CSO's can fuck off.
I might kill one, IF I COULD FUCKING FIND ONE WHEN I NEEDED ONE!
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 17:08, closed)

Now . . Im getting the word . . . .
Nonce!
(jonnyninetails, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 17:07, closed)

NURGGGHHHHHHH!
It's not what I have on the card.
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 17:08, closed)

You did nothing wrong
If they really thought that something was up then you'd be in the back of a coppers van before you could blink. Bastards were just fucking you around.

I advise making a complaint, it might not seem worth the effort but if you push enough then it could easily see them marking time career-wise for up to a year.

Personally if I'd seen my kids had wandered over to join in then I would have commended you (after making sure you had kids there yourself, of course) and probably joined in.

Should be more parents, like you, willing to be a bit more relaxed, the paranoids are killing all the kids fun and not teaching them how to deal with risk.
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 17:16, closed)

Sense!
You would have been welcomed into my kickabout!
Still, not worth the effort to complain, no names/numbers etc.
It's awful watching parents not get involved just cos their are other peoples kids about. They only want a bit of attention and guidance, we were always proper made up when one of the dads, or even mums joined in with us when we were playing out, made them seem human!
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 17:29, closed)

that's really sad
It's the ridiculous paedo-paranoia flamed up by morally bankrupt tabloid journos to sell copies that makes adults feel like they can't have fun or bond with kids. It's so pathetic and cynical and sad. Idiots.
(jennymnemonic, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 17:32, closed)

Parents look at you like you've pissed on their newborn these days if you even talk to the kids
but I wont let it stop me, apparently, we are a dying breed and kids will only get worse childhoods because of it!
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 17:33, closed)

Things like this make me furious!
Men seem to be considered paedophiles, rapists and women beaters until proven innocent. BA don't even let unattended children sit next to men on planes now, but with women it's fine.

Why are women so bloody innocent, and why does everyone hate men?!
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 19:02, closed)

Rubbish. BA ain't gettin' on no plane,
fool!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 20:54, closed)

Ha ha!
Sucka!
(Tighthead, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 9:59, closed)

Funny you should say that
My wife and I adopted 2 boys a year ago and we had to go through a rather long and intrusive application process, no problem as we had nothing to hide. But, one of the things we had to get used to (this was pointed to to us by the social worker) was that from the very start they considered me a peadophile and it was up to me to prove otherwise.
So, that was nice.
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 11:26, closed)

How are you supposed to *prove* you're not a nonce?
You could just as well be an exceptionally cunning nonce who's keeping it in his pants (and his head) until he gets unrestricted access to innocent young bodies hur hur hur.

Better hope none of those morons ever think of this or it'll become illegal for any family including a male to adopt. Just in case.
(littlesunshine licked your blinky diodes on, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 18:51, closed)

nonce.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 20:21, closed)

Frankie's parents are idiots.
As are the CHIMPS.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 20:48, closed)

Why didn't they bother to look for her
Instead of calling the hobby bobbies? Lazy.
(Lupetherabbit Went straight into smirk mode on, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 9:39, closed)

Try this
If you get a plastic pig, the answer to give him is "I am going about my lawful occasions", and if he wants anything else, ask to see a warrant holder.
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 11:25, closed)

^this
"If I'm doing something wrong feel free to arrest me, otherwise be on your way."
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 11:28, closed)