Hells been booked since 1996
On a tour down the Falkland Islands back in 96, me and my mate were on R&R in the main (only!!) town on the island, getting totally shit faced. In one bar, The Globe, and we started asking the locals if there were any good time girls on the island, prossies, brasses that sort of thing. I remember the locals muttering to each other then asking me to phone this number and to tell who answered that we were here to party. I did and the voive on the other end said to make sure to bring drink, waahey, c'mon I said to Billy lets go get laid.
Local taxi driver said he would take us there and I remember him giggling the way there (Alarm bell should have started ringing).
I also remember getting out of the taxi and clocking the wheelchair ramp and hand rail (more alarm bells!!)
When we entered we were welcomed like long lost warriors by a small, overweight, physically disabled (legs had gone) and obviously mentally disabled woman in her late fifties. We thought this fine woman was the mum and we were about to meet some ravishing sex bomb daughter in her twenties, but alas this lovely old woman was the entertainment for the night.
What to do! Admit we were conned by the locals and slink back to camp like rats leaving a burning nest or man the fuck up and treat this lady to a night of passionate gang banging.
We manned the fuck up ladies and gentlemen and me and Billy showed that lady the night of her lives, she even found the funny side whilst getting kebabed me and Billy were high fiving like Vegas porn stars.
Ended at three the next morning when Billy sobered up and started sobbing about what we had done, what animals we were etc, etc.
Good night though but what I believe will send me to hell is the fact that I stole her copy of The Immaculate Collection when we left, not the gangbanging of a mentally, physically handicapped lady.
(Hammy1801 may have scabies!, Tue 17 Jul 2012, 19:53, 5 replies)

Exec summary: disabled people can't have sex or their partners will be punished by God.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 17 Jul 2012, 20:25, closed)

She enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, Billy enjoyed it at the time!!
Stealing a Madonna CD though, that's fucking sacrilegious!!
(Hammy1801 may have scabies!, Tue 17 Jul 2012, 20:37, closed)

Class.
Loved it. Service the community I say, before it services you.
( The only Dave is pushing things forward, Tue 17 Jul 2012, 20:52, closed)

You madonna stealing bastard!!
you are my hero!
(Clit Ninja is having a white space party!, Wed 18 Jul 2012, 11:24, closed)

Also
Congrats on the Orange Wings Bruv!
(Clit Ninja is having a white space party!, Wed 18 Jul 2012, 18:02, closed)