The Season has started
A couple of relevant notes.

I run an IT support company in Barcelona (as previously noted, looking after a fair few spankshops), obviously concentrating on the English market.

This time of year, language schools are banging the phones drumming up trade.

As small businesses go, we have a shit hot phone system, what with being Panasonic PBX installers and all, and as the office is in the house, then the house is in the same system but with a different number, though calls can be go from one side to the other if you press the right buttons

Points to note done. So, I'm beavering away in the office ("beavering" in this case being looking at big hairy one scourtesy of Usenet) and the phone rings, as it is want to do.

Them: Hello, I'm calling from xyz language school, are you interesting in learning English?
Me: You've been through the IVR, where you got the option to press 2 for english- do you think we'd have that as an option if we couldn't speak it
Them: Oh, OK. What about Computers then? That's a useful thing to know about
Me: We're an IT company, as is mentioned in the company name in the first welcome message in the IVR, then again in the menu letting you choose "talk to the duty tech"
Them.What about German then?
Me: Ich lebte im Dusseldorf für 2 jahre, und dachten die Deutschen, dass ich war deutsch.
Them: So you don't want any lessons then.
Me. No, not today

within a minute the phone rings again. Thanks to consecutive number blocks, it's them again, this time calling the number that by default gives all the exact same options, but in English instead of Spanish. Yes, they asked if I wanted lessons in English before realising. Soon after than fax number rang, then the phone again, showing my direct nubmber that skips the IVR, but does play a message in Spanish then English saying to hang on for the duty tech while the desk phone rings before passing the call to my mobile if I don't pick up. I answered giving the company name, there comes a pause on the other end

Them. It's you again isn't it
Me: Yes
Them: Have you got anymore numbers I shouldn't bother ringing?

I gave her the numbers she hadn't rung yet, then told her I did actually have a friend that was interested in English, and transferred the call ...

... to my German friend that runs a language school.

It happens every year and goes on for about 3 or 4 weeks. Sometimes my missus gets them on the house number, but this year I think I'll start transferring them to the phone in the kids playroom and see what they make of bilingual computer literate (sort of) 6 and 4 year olds
(nobbyd is wanking furiously to industrial grade porn on, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 1:41, 11 replies)

remind me
not to call your place offering language classes then.

Though anybody calling now is surely gonna get the dregs and the cant/wont payers - most schools/language companies get sorted Before summer, including mine.

though i wouldn't mind some extra custom...
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 7:34, closed)

Wirklich?
Ich lebte im Dusseldorf für 2 jahre, und dachten die Deutschen, dass ich war deutsch.

One missing capital, one misspelled city, one wrong verb, one wrong preposition, three wrong word orders (every clause!), one wrong plural. Was für Deutsche kennten Sie?

Ich wohnte zwei Jahre in Düsseldorf, und die Deutsche dachten, daß ich deutsch war.

I'll let you off "dass" although neue Rechtschreibung is the work of Satan and they will prize the eszet out of my cold, dead hands.
(ubergeekian, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 10:07, closed)

He should have used a simpler sentence
"Ich habe ein Honda Accord", for example.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 10:21, closed)

PS
"Eszett", nein?
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 10:22, closed)

Good point
... and it should have been "glaubten", too, so that's two out of three verbs wrong.
(ubergeekian, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 20:11, closed)

@flesh
no es cierto, pero ¿puede ser ue somos cercado por los "nazis" de la gramatica?
(nobbyd is wanking furiously to industrial grade porn on, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 22:59, closed)

Wohnte?
So is that the imperfect tense of Wohnen?

Sorry, I went to Germany for the first time a few weeks ago and now really regret not having learnt the language properly at school while I had the chance...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 11:18, closed)

Wohnen/Leben
The verb I was going with is "leben", as in "lebensraum" -the justification of Germanys invasion of Russia.
(nobbyd is wanking furiously to industrial grade porn on, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 11:53, closed)

Well I left 20 years ago
And it's all a bit rusty, but better than you're going to get in a school here. I know about the missing umlaut - so "village on the river düssel" translates as "village idiot", missing capital - so what? Wrong verb - I was in 2 minds and still am not sure I got the wrong one, I had a hell of a time there. Word order - I'm working in three languages here, mostly Spanish at the moment, but with catalan thrown in, with yet another word order.
(nobbyd is wanking furiously to industrial grade porn on, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 11:59, closed)

Aargh!
Oh come on:

It should of course be:

Ich habe 3 Jahre in Düsseldorf gelebt, und die Deutschen dachten, ich wäre einer von ihnen...

Bloody For'ners!
(bloody kraut, a ...ach, there is not enough fluffeh 'ere, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 12:12, closed)

We get these in work from time to time
Except on a slightly larger scale, as we've got about 7,000 numbers allocated to us. Helpdesk gets dozens of complaints because of these calls, and there's bugger all we can do to stop them, we just have to let the wave pass.

One of the blokes in another department kept some guy blathering on for ten minutes before telling him he wasn't interested.

Then after pestering various other offices in the building he started working his way through the numbers in ours.
And called me.
Call was something along the lines of the following:-

Him: Hello, I'm calling from Bangladeshi Telecom (or whatever the fuck it was), can you tell me sir, do you have a mobile phone?
Me: Yes
Him: Can you be telling me sir, how much do you spend on your mobile phone bill every month?
Me: Two hundred and twenty pounds.
Him: TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY POUNDS! OH MY GOD! I can do you much better deal than that sir, I can do phone for twenty pounds per mon-
At this point I press the [R] button followed by the extension number of the fax machine, then hang up.

Within a minute, he phones back, one of my colleagues answers him and tells him that no, he doesn't know who the guy was just speaking to, and has no way of transferring him back.

Guy thought he had a guaranteed sale. Pity.

Length: didn't say but at 220 pounds it was a bit hefty.
( eXOBeX, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 1:15, closed)