Celebrities part IIFive years ago, we asked if you've ever been rude to a celebrity, or have been on the receiving end of a Z-List TV chef's wrath. By popular demand, it's back - if you have beans, spill them.
(
Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 13:33)
« Go Back
The MallardWas a garden ornament that was shaped, well, like a mallard.
It was purchased before a Manic Street Preachers gig in Southampton a few years back (which saw me appearing in a US documentary about the band prancing around on Southampton Guildhall stairs with said ornament).
It was decided from then that it would be taken to every gig we went to afterwards as a little mascot.
My close friend and I were known as "Those guys with the Mallard" after a while due to its popularity (and our insistence that it was a mallard and NOT A FUCKING DUCK!!).
But I digress.
At a Bloc Party gig in Portsmouth Guildhall a little while after, Kele Okereke spotted it in the front row and, upon it being held aloft, decided to take the bloody thing and make a speech to the crowd about how generous the people of Portsmouth were (Ha!) for giving him such a thoughtful gift.
This speech was interrupted with my voice politely requesting "GIVE US BACK OUR MALLARD YOU THIEVING CUNT!". He looked shocked but duly obliged.
The Mallard let fame get to his head after that with his new star-status and hanging out with his A-list pals. After a stint in rehab, he now finds himself being used as a doorstop in my flat.
(, Sun 11 Oct 2009, 20:57, 1 reply)
The most impressive thing about that Kele chapis how he beefs up on weekends to play rugby under the name 'Paul Sackey'.
(, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 10:53, closed)
« Go Back