not quite in a church but will be sent to hell
i was raised without religion. i am not an atheist, i just don't have religion. worked with a very devout catholic guy who goes to church, twice a day, every day (but was the most bigoted, rude, intolerant person i have ever met).

i rocked into work one day, saw churchman in the corridor.

me:'hey paul, you have a smudge of stuff on your forehead.'
paul: 'don't you know what today is?'
me: 'yeah, wednesday'
paul: (with a belligerent shout) 'ash wednesday!!'
me: 'what's that?'
death stare, shake of head, disgusted sigh, he stalked off.

i had to ask one of the more nice catholics in the office what had offended him so much.
(chameleon61, Sun 4 Sep 2011, 8:14, 9 replies)

day after bonfire night, innit?

( RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Sun 4 Sep 2011, 10:26, closed)

Devout religious person in 'Absolute fucking wanker' SHOCKER!

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 4 Sep 2011, 15:09, closed)

I think I know that guy
didn't he used to be called Saul?
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Sun 4 Sep 2011, 15:12, closed)

The smudge on the forehead always throws me off at first, even though I know what Ash Wednesday is. It always looks to me like a bindi that was done by a spastic amateur,
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sun 4 Sep 2011, 15:57, closed)

You should put a ketchup spot on your head one day.
Tell him it's burger thursday or something.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Sun 4 Sep 2011, 16:45, closed)

hahahaha!
awesome. might steal this.
(leviticus no longer likes the cut of your gib on, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:23, closed)

More nice?
You're going to hell for poor grammar my boy.
(Vigilante Man weeps because you're stupid., Sun 4 Sep 2011, 18:33, closed)

Neither of you come off well, in this story.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 4 Sep 2011, 19:06, closed)

well quite ...
i was properly old and should have known much better but ... the first time i ever went to Co Kerry, it was a Wednesday in February, 2005 ... i picked a hire car up the airport and noticed a weird wee mark on the forehead of the car hire guy; i assumed it was some kind of birthmark ... then i noticed a few folk in town (Killarney) with the same mark and started to think i'd walked into an Invasion of the Bodysnatchers scenario ... it took me All Bloody Day to work out that it was a religious thing (i had never ever seen it before and although daubing ash on your forehead is something done by all kinds of Christian sub-brands, the Catholics of Kerry were certainly the most enthusiastic Ash Wednesday daubers in my experience up to that point; and since)
( writerblock ... embedding disabled by request on, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 1:21, closed)