pearoast
A number of years ago, and for reasons totally irrelevant to this story I found my good self having to share a hotel room with my dearest Dad.

I was knackered, so retired to bed, leaving Hat Snr to prop up the bar.

Having drifted off into my much deserved sleepy time the unmistakable sound of Pissed Bloke Trying To Be Quiet started to intrude, followed by my retinas burning as the twat turned the light on. Rolling over to lie on my side, I opened my eyes ready to berate the noisy fucker.

I have since learned that at that point he was desperately trying to remove his trousers in a way that only a pissed bloke can, ie. hopping round on one leg as he bends over to try and free his foot from a trouser leg.

What I actually saw, and filling my whole field of vision, was his naked arse, as he slowly toppled backwards.

And sat on my face...

This was how I came to call my dearest Dad a stupid cunt for the very first time.
( TheMattInAHat has a particular... odour..., Thu 25 Nov 2010, 15:26, 5 replies)

This had me in hysterics first time you wrote it
And has done again, well done!

*click*
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 25 Nov 2010, 15:43, closed)

This for
the win
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Thu 25 Nov 2010, 17:05, closed)

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha..... haaaaaaa hahaha!
( emergency_pants Today I smell of... tea tree, Thu 25 Nov 2010, 17:13, closed)

the weird thing is
i've never met you or your dad, yet i can picture this perfectly
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 25 Nov 2010, 19:45, closed)

That's no moon!
Click! Top(and slightly horrific) story..
( Jimbuktu See? Right here, Thu 25 Nov 2010, 23:37, closed)