Brushes with the Grim Reaper? That night, a good few.
I'll keep this as short and sweet as I can, was only the other week or so when the country went barmy over the snow. I don't know whether it was the snow or the copious amounts of red stripe that had been consumed that made us do these things.

So I'll set the scene, just around the corner from my girlfriends house is quite a large reservoir, Edgbaston reservoir for those who live in Birmingham. Its got quite a large hill, ideal for sledging. No sledge? but you've a pair of the pallets that your mattress lies on? - You can see where this is going.

On the way back to the reservoir with many a can of red stripe in hand and enough masking tape to seal the San Andreas fault we pass a toilet. Some people steal traffic signs, some people steal cones. This night, we stole a second hand toilet off some-ones doorstep. See figure a:



I say again, I don't know whether it was the snow or the red stripe that made us do these things.

This is where the danger begins, illustrated better by this picture:



I could end this story here and say that having your feet heavily strapped to two, 3ft non-ski fit planks on a snowy hill is how I met the grim reaper. But i'll carry on.

After much more farting about in the snow and failing to ski, we made our way to the bottom of the hill. Toilet in hand.
We discovered a football in a nearby tree and as you may or may not do when drunk, (I'm thinking about that advert where the lass loses her balloon...) my friend decides to climb such tree. Can you guess what happens next?

We pass the toilet to him in hope of placing it within the tree and for it to forever be one of those wierd, urban things what no-one can explain. Seemed logical at the time, in hindsight no-one would have been impressed. Another picture to show such friend in tree:



Standing under a tree while drunk, when slippery and snowy, of which a toilet is being balanced is where my story of my brush with the Grim Reaper nears an end. I just don't understand how in a split second of seeing the toilet hurtle towards my face, being able to gain cat like features and flinch out the way.

To conclude, me and my 3 mates that night did indeed have a couple of encounters with death but we all survived. For the toilet that was destined for a meeting with death himself at the local tip, we gave him his last hurrah, having fun with a bunch of arses and a second life :



Apologies for poor grammar and thanks for reading.
(PassTheKhat, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 1:12, 12 replies)

Gets a click...
...if only for the last picture :)
( Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Fri 13 Feb 2009, 2:09, closed)

That's actually quite beautiful.
Better than a toilet on the roof, anyway.
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 2:13, closed)

Bit Bigger

(PassTheKhat, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 2:26, closed)

is it wrong...
...to have briefly considered this for desktop wallpaper? Failing that, It could be "January" in the B3Ta picture calendar.
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 2:54, closed)

i had that exact thought!

( MagicallyInept Bored Sig., Tue 17 Feb 2009, 13:34, closed)

Lovely pic
The poignant pose struck by the toilet, looking desperately over the waters for it's lost mate, the Bidet.
( sm.pl.crt.rs I don't fucking know, do I?, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 10:53, closed)

So you nicked a toilet
and then left it beside a lake.

Fuckin' nice one...
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 9:36, closed)

Yeah fuckin' nice one
It was a relevant answer to a question of the week.
(PassTheKhat, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 12:30, closed)

Well, the toilet is merely the leitmotif -
- of an evening of ill-advised fun. Ski-ing with improvised skis while drunk (stupid and possibly fatal), climbing trees while drunk (see previous), dodging a falling toilet with drunk reactions (see previous, or play HL2 multiplayer to recreate this safely in your own home). So yes, quite a relevant answer.

There is also a philosophical layer: You could say the toilet delayed its own death (as do we all; you never 'escape' death, you just postpone the inevitable); via the questionable safety of a bunch of intoxicated blokes.
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Sat 14 Feb 2009, 20:43, closed)

The Incredible Sulk
I Like You
(PassTheKhat, Sun 15 Feb 2009, 23:44, closed)

I never said it wasn't
I just think you're a bit of a cock, that's all.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 14:54, closed)

Well
The question is really asking how you've almost died from being stupid, or how you'd like to say it 'bit of a cock'.

Go away.
(PassTheKhat, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 22:34, closed)