Probably no-where near as interesting as the others on here...
...as it doesn't involve sex.

Anyway, I met a rather lovely girl at a Drinking Wine society do at uni. We were both - unsurprisingly - quite merry by the end of the evening. I offered to walk her home, and she agreed, as we had to go through the scary park. On arrival at her halls we stood below them saying goodbye. She looked up into my eyes with her beautiful, big blue eyes and coyly - full of natural innocence - said "do... do you mind if I kiss you goodnight?"

To which I reply, shouting, "Yeah, that would be pretty cool, wouldn't it?". Oh dear.

Well, she did agree to go on a proper date with me. There was a stand-up competition in the union the next week and, having been in it the year before, I thought it would be the ideal way to impress her. So along I go, and I grab a table for us both. Before long she arrives and fails to see me so I wander up to the bar to get her.

The Ents manager of the uni was at the bar and thought I was going to talk to him.

"Hello, FB," he says, "how are you? Written any material for the summer ball yet?"
"Gosh" think I, "she's standing right behind him. She can hear all this. What an ideal opportunity to demonstrate what high regard I am held in as a comedian around here".
"Not yet, Mr. Ents Manager," I reply, "I've been pretty busy with my coursework. But something will come soon, I have no doubt".

I make eye contact with the girl of my affections. She looks impressed. For a moment. Because then the ents manager says the following haunting line:
"Oh, you need a fucked up relationship with some really screwed up girl. That's where all your best material comes from".

Had a happy ending though. She saw past that one incident.
(Fat Bear is adjusting your breasts on, Mon 25 Oct 2004, 16:53, Reply)