Not seen one, was one.
Thought I'd save this till later on in the week, as I can easily count this as the most traumatic things in my life, so read on, dear B3tan.
Back in the nasty winter of 2003, I began to have chest pains, as I managed to live the life of a slob, just going to a nice easy job, slobbing about in the evenings in front of TV or PC, and smoking easily 30 full fat cigarettes a day. Not an enviable lifestyle for remaining healthy really, is it?
Cue the 12th November. I thought I had a chest infection, and had been off work 3 days, and was kind of feeeling ok-ish, watched Alfie Moon save Kat from getting married to some gangster (yes, it was THAT day), and relaxed with a whisky and sat down to watch Johnny English (a film I cannot recommend to anyone).
And then the pain in my chest started, and the feeling sick. Thought it was just a bit of heartburn at first, then I can't stand up, sweating, and the feeling in my chest of what Richard Pryor called "Don't you move, fucker"- basically, someone grabbing in the middle of your chest & twisting. And believe me, it hurts- REALLY hurts.
So an ambulance is called, which eventually turns up. The medic seemed to be a bit dubious of what was wrong with me, asked me first if I'd taken Viagra, to which I quite strongly answered in the negative. He then said "well, we can take you in, but its 10:30 on a friday evening, so its going to be very busy, so are you really sure you are feeling that bad?" Errr- yes, I don't call an ambulance out for a laugh, you know. So they toodle me off to A&E, and advise me its going to be busy, so they'll pop me in resus, which is where my luck started.
I'm popped into said area, and many probes are stuck upon my person, and all seems ok, my kindly nurse asks if I'm still in pain- yes, it is getting worse. Would I like some morphine? Oh yes ta, I'll have a double on the rocks, but hold the olives. She then starts to fill up a syringe to put it in the canula on my left hand, and I say "that acted quick, I feel woozy already"- only she hadn't put it in yet.
She said later I just suddenly flatlined- complete cardiac arrest (myocardial infarction for you medical types out there), and they were immediately defibrillating me to attempt to bring me round. Somehow they also put a drug in me called Retoplase, which clears any blockages (Dyno-Rod for the arteries), and after 3 minutes I started beating again and breathing. What did I feel? I can remember being woozy, and saying so to the nurse. The next thing I remember is that horrible pins and needles all over body feeling you get if you stand up too quick after kneeling down for ages, and waking up to loads of people around me, and feeling embarrased as I had made that snorty noise, which I thought meant I'd fallen asleep, and had woken up with a start.
Shall I answer the inevitable question? No, there was no bright light. No looking down on my body. Nothing. Just that. Sorry, Godly people.
*Insert pun on length here*
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Tue 4 Mar 2008, 7:04, 5 replies)

Jonny English
...has that effect on people
(WillyNilly SillyBilly, Tue 4 Mar 2008, 12:25, closed)

if that's true
then thanks. my only problem with death was the possibility that the mind remains cognisant after death, detached from the body and in darkness. now i know that you see and feel nothing, it doesn't worry me in the least.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 4 Mar 2008, 12:59, closed)

Whoah.
Whatever hospital that was, I pray I don't have to use them...not if they can't recognise the obvious signs of a heart attack!
(Musuko, Tue 4 Mar 2008, 14:30, closed)

*ulp*
I've just heard that my ex had a heart attack last week. Pretty much the same circumstances as above. Woke up with chest pains, was sick, NHS direct was called and they in turn called an ambulance. He got to hospital and had a full blown heart attack.

He smokes, drinks, eats badly, doesn't exercise, takes recreational drugs, works long, stressful shifts and is adopted so doesn't know if there is a history of this kind of thing in his biological family.

He's also 27.

I just can't help thinking that if he hadn't been visiting his parents at that time, he'd have ignored the symptoms, stayed in bed and had his heart attack at home where he would have died.

Gotta stop thinking about this.
( e.m.m.y. foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india tango, Tue 4 Mar 2008, 15:12, closed)

To SmashMonkey
It is *very* true, but all to the good. Forced me into a change of lifestyle, which was much needed- and yes, smoking is a thing of the past.
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Wed 5 Mar 2008, 6:13, closed)