More funny than naughty or depressing as most of these have been.
But hey, accidental innuendo is always fun, yes?

I currently work at an internet clothing sales company. We buy customer returns and post them on our website and ebay, deeply discounted from retail.

We do, occasionally, get brand new items from the manufacturer. These may be discontinued, or poor sellers, or out of season. One time, we received a huge skid of spanking new panties. Bossman tells me he wants me to split these into lots of 6, 12 and 18, and get them posted online. No problem, says I. Our warehouse guy, who we all call Roy, cause that's what's printed on his ID, shows me where the skid is, and I get to work sorting by size and style.

The next day my daughter is sick, so I miss work. The day after I miss work again because my daughter passed her plague on to me. So I return to work after missing two days.

I get settled at my desk and head out to the warehouse to continue my panty sorting. But. My skid is missing. I look around nearby. Plenty of skids, but my skid full of panties is nowhere to be found. Now, this is a pretty big warehouse, so it's usually more expedient to yell for someone rather than hunting them down. So I yell, clearly, in a huge warehouse with about 30 people around, "ROY! WHERE THE HELL ARE MY PANTIES?"
(ladydyani, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 14:04, 6 replies)

Did the skid leave any marks?

( flake has nothing against your right leg, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 14:09, closed)

You could have avoided this by simply looking for skidmarks.
EDIT: Piss.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 14:09, closed)

Christ your life must be beyond dull if this qualifies as "funny".
You might as well end it all. You're dragging down the average joy of the planet. Fuck. You'd probably drag down the average joy of a cholera-infected refugee camp.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 15:13, closed)

Ha!
Harsh, but erm, made me chortle
(Monkey the Chicken Twitter: death_stairs, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 15:16, closed)

Pot
kettle

etc.
(username failed moderation, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 8:52, closed)

Awww, Dr. S. is in an angry mood.
Would you like a hug ?
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 10:02, closed)