This is what I would do if I had the cash
I once worked at a festival, back in about 1997, and the land we hired was from a mental millionaire who owned most of the surrounding countryside. I never met the man myself, but was regaled with tales of his eccentricity by the locals and my co-workers.

Apparently he has a compressed air cannon onto which he loads cars and flings them across the fields for fun. I was also told that he has his dining room rigged up so that at a push of a button he can drop any guests he doesn't like into the basement, James Bond villain style.

But my favourite story was that he has, get this, a FULL SIZE MECHANICAL ELEPHANT that runs on diesel which he regularly rides around his estate.

If I were a millionaire I would do exactly the same stuff. Except I would do it naked.
( BlueHaze Chutney. All good., Fri 31 Oct 2008, 10:07, 8 replies)

Definitely.
With bells on.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 31 Oct 2008, 10:09, closed)

FULL SIZE MECHANICAL ELEPHANT
I must have one - are they good on mileage ?
(wrigglesworth, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 11:43, closed)

That's added extra shine to my Friday!
Please accept this click as a token of my appreciation.

*Click.
(AndyC4m Eject Eject [><], Fri 31 Oct 2008, 13:53, closed)

Diesel
For some reason, I absolutely love the fact that the elephant runs on diesel! -Why on earth do I find that funnier than if it were to run on petrol or electricity?!
Fantastic!
(Rumpig, Sun 2 Nov 2008, 1:49, closed)

This guy

lived in Shropshire didn't he? Clarkson rode the elephant on one of his TV shows (Google says Extreme Machines episode 6).
(H K Phooey, Mon 3 Nov 2008, 17:09, closed)

Bridgenorth, or thereabouts...
If my memory serves me correctly....
( BlueHaze Chutney. All good., Tue 4 Nov 2008, 15:33, closed)

Correct
and he also has a ballista which he uses to shoot (dead) cows and sheep over his fields. I've been to his place. COmpletely ga ga
(Smale is stuffed, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 10:17, closed)

Oh my
And I thought it would have been childish rumours but low and behold, a reference to said mechanical pachyderm. Its real and I couldn't be happier. Thank you and click.
(twocoats, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 17:17, closed)