My family and other animals pt 1
My great uncle Eric, was a man whom I never met. He hated children. He wasn’t too keen on women either and never married. The reasons for this were actually quite sad.

He had as a fifteen year old, run away from home to join the Army Air Corps during World War One. It being 1915 / 1916 ish nobody was too hot on checking age or identity and he was swept straight into flight officer training.

He was badly affected by his experiences on the Western Front, and was according to my grandfather, never quite the same person. He managed to re-integrate himself into society with a rather stiff upper lip attitude, but remained quite an odd individual.

The first time my mother went to stay at his house (probably in the seventies), she asked if she could use his television to watch Corrie.

‘I don’t have a television,’ he said.

‘Yes, you do – I’ve seen one through there.’

‘No, I haven’t.’ he said more firmly.

‘Well, what’s that then?’ she asked.

‘Not a television.’

My mother slightly perplexed, approached said television, and tried to switch it on. Nothing. After pressing a few more buttons and twiddling the tuning knob, she ventured around the back to look for the plug. No plug. In fact, the television had a distinct lack of plug, back and insides – it was just an empty shell. She looked up to Eric enquiringly as he said:

‘I told you I didn’t have a television. I have a wooden cabinet with a screen because my elephants look good on it.’

He’d actually bought a TV, had the insides removed, so that he could keep his Indian ornaments on top of it.

Apparently, his favourite sport was screwing with the minds of the TV licence inspectors. When they arrived at his house to check up on him, he’d usher them into the front room and then deny all knowledge of having a television. Used to keep him entertained for hours apparently.
(sugar_tits, Sun 2 Nov 2008, 16:10, 2 replies)

What a great character!
Have a click.

The TV licence inspectors're bastards. When I worked at the court I saw lots of people done for licence evasion, including a 16 year-old who'd been intimidated - in front of the inspectors - into signing the forms admitting guilt so that she was fined instead of the TV owner, her stepdad.

Anyone who wastes their time is a friend of mine.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Sun 2 Nov 2008, 16:45, closed)

a Click indeed!
Please have a click... the amount of arseing about that they inflict on people that don't have a telly is astonishing..
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Sun 2 Nov 2008, 20:16, closed)