Bangers
Remember those little paper bangers you used to be able (maybe you still can, I'm not sure) to buy at markets? The ones you threw to the ground, where they would make a small bang, and you realised that you had probably been ripped off?

Well, the cunts at school banned them, as they could apparently cause burns if you slipped and fell and they went off in your pocket.

Upon hearing this, I knew they were lying - and trying to rob us of our innocent, childish fun, as most adults do - as the bangers came in small plastic bags full of sawdust to prevent them accidentally going off. But at the same time, my 13-year-old mind had to know if the bangers could actually do that.

The only problem was that with being an only child, was that there was only one person I could test the bangers on... (You can see where this is going, can't you?) ...myself.

I placed a handful of bangers on the back of my hand, reached for the T.V. remote (I didn't wan to risk my other hand), and brought it down swiftly on my hand...

...there was no burns, and the only pain came came from twatting my self on the back of my hand with a Sky remote.

I now know it's impossible to burn yourself with bangers, as I went through about 4 boxes of them that day.

Although if you put a banger between your thumb and first two fingers and wear sunglasses you can do an excellent Bono impression i.e. 'Every three seconds, someone dies due to poverty' [Click fingers, popping the banger].
(peterlynch, Mon 28 Jul 2008, 17:32, 2 replies)

I used to pop those
between my teeth
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jul 2008, 10:04, closed)

Ah, but we used to carefully remove them from the sawdust and place them directly in the cardboard box
So you could get at them more easily. I'm pretty sure at some point they didn't come in the sawdust.

Incidentally, if you explode them by hitting them with your hand when they're on a wall, you can get a rather painful experience and black sooty 'explosion' marks on your hand.
(Skittlemcfluff ......................, Tue 29 Jul 2008, 12:15, closed)