Clean her up...
Quite often (usually as a result of watching pron) I'll decide that some random act would really turn me on, and it does when it's locked in the wank-bank. However, when that thought actually gets acted out, nine times out of ten it ends with me clumsily and apologetically saying "err, OK, that wasn't that hot actually". Pissing, dressing up, etc, none *actually* as good as the thought of them.

My last random turn on was the thought of squirting my baby batter inside a lovely lady and then licking it all out again, preferably with her sitting on my face. The problem was, when it came to acting it out, that once I'd blown my load I no longer wanted to carry on. Is there a name for the total and complete change in attitude after orgasm?

A few months ago though, I was in town at night and just about to grab a taxi when I bumped into someone I shall call Clare (for that was her name, yadayadayada). I knew her from some temp. work I used to do and I also knew that she had a filthy mind. We got chatting and eventually ended up back at hers and started discussing sexual fantasies, as you do after too much alcohol. I told her about the licking cum out thing and she started to smile. She mentioned that, just before she'd met me, she'd been in the toilets of the local club with a bloke and had let him fuck her. She also mentioned that he'd actually not used a condom and so she was pretty wet and sticky down there.

I didn't get a chance to even think about it, seemingly in an instant she had me on the floor and was straddling my face, pulling her knickers to one side. I was hesitant at first, especially as my fantasy was licking *my* cum out again, but hey, beggars can't be choosers :-) I have to say that it was absolutely fantastic. Everything, the mild dominance on her part, the fact that she was wearing stockings under her dress, the whole experience - Wow. Probably the only fetishy thing that I've ever tried that I've actually looked back on afterwards and thought how good it was.
(cfvp, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 9:44, 26 replies)

So,
You sucked another guys spooge out of a slags fanny?! Lost for words!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Tue 27 Oct 2009, 10:15, closed)

...
( rofl harris, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 10:17, closed)

EEEEEWWWWWW
That is all
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 10:20, closed)

....
*fetches mind bleach*
(Psymon_Spark Jesus Saves! The rest of you take 4d6 damage, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 10:24, closed)

definitely
one to keep to yourself there buddy.


most vile!
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 10:29, closed)

Some places have little holes in the walls of the toilet cubicles
If you hang round long enough you'll be presented with a nice hard cock, then you can try getting your fix from source...

This is a weird post, mate. Very weird. Eating a strangers cum is a bit fucking odd... I mean, I could just about understand it if he paid you for it - like that scene out of Midnight Cowboy...
( SpankyHanky, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 10:37, closed)

there are two types of man in this world
those that have tasted their own come and those that wont admit to it.

You, however, fall into a different category.

Brave post, congrats for that.
( Holly Would long wheel based tranny, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 10:46, closed)

2 types of men in this world...
Good and correct observation, well said!
A little more detail would have been good too. Defining the actions of those that have tasted as an experiment, those that nosh themselves into their own mouths and those that like it out of cracks n clunges they just put it into.
A brave post indeed, well done!
(but a strangers! lol, what nerves of steel)
(orangejuicejohns, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 14:54, closed)

Bluuuurrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 10:48, closed)

My eyes!
My eyes are burning and my stomach turning. Still have a stiffy though.
( rgordon00, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 10:55, closed)

....
Good lad....
(acerboyz, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 10:58, closed)

Real Office
Ewwwwwwwww!!!
(Kip, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 11:19, closed)

Actually........
....I find this story rather hot, not all that shockingly filthy and definitely one to bear in mind -I'm obv a total pervert......
(insomniac girl all my best things are in hock, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 12:55, closed)

Fantastic.
The only story I've seen this week where people have actually been offended. You deserve many internets, there's not much that can do that. Clicked for believability and pure disgust.
( Rookie You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 13:15, closed)

In my defence...
In my defence about the above, I have to say that it was never my fantasy to clean up another man's muck - I think it was very likely Clare's though and we just happened to have similar(ish) fantasies. When I say I didn't get any choice in the matter, I really do mean that - she moved like a 100m sprinter to get me on that floor with her minge in my face, and after a fair few beers I was feeling rather more adventurous than normal.

Typing it up, it did strike me just how filthy it was, but it also struck me just how much I enjoyed it :-) And in response to a few posts, I am 100% heterosexual, no holes in toilet cubicles thank you :-(
(cfvp, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 13:23, closed)

Damn
And there's me thinking you and I should hook up for a bit of mouth to cock action. This, by the way, is a bloody excellent post. You are, sir, what the experts would call a wrongun. Keep it up!
( SpankyHanky, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 13:24, closed)

Can I have my cum back?

(Waspard has your wank bank account details, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 14:04, closed)

Erm
No, but I can speak to Clare and you could perhaps have mine instead if you wanted to... hahaha
(cfvp, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 16:50, closed)

You know
This is probably going to end up as top post on your profile ;)
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 14:38, closed)

Hope so
Although it's a great post, I clicked just so this post can be top on his profile
(lardyboy Next stop, Fissplap Central, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 14:53, closed)

Fuck the profile*
get it in the newsletter!

* and eat the profile out afterwards
( Holly Would long wheel based tranny, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 16:56, closed)

Nice one
If it ends up as the top post on my profile, great - I'm pretty proud that I've managed to simultaneously give people something new to try and also offended people.
(cfvp, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 16:49, closed)

hoo-rah...
for filthy girls. great story, have a click!
(Atomised teabagged your mum on, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 16:00, closed)

My first thought was
"eeeeeeeeeeeeew!"
My second was- you are a brave man to admit it here.
Not to my taste (pun intended) but if it floats your boat, more power to your elbow (or indeed any other length of ... er... bone !)
Clicked-ed.
(womanwhocanonlylivewithdogs, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 16:57, closed)

"I have to say that it was absolutely fantastic. Everything, the mild dominance on her part, the fact that she was wearing stockings under her dress..."
...the catching an STD.

What?
(Pope Jamiroquai III, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 23:44, closed)

You are a sick puppy
still gets my click tho.
(Aunt Sally, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 9:50, closed)