Mockney twat
I panic when I have to talk to anyone that doesn't work in an office, but particularly with tradespeople.

So for some reason I'll always change my normal accent (something between Boris Johnson and Oscar Wilde) for an Essex/cockney effort -
"Blaady freezin' innit? - to demonstrate that I am just like them, and could probably fit the kitchen/clean the chimney/attach a shelf myself if I wasn't so damned busy duckin and divin makin a few quid here and there.

This came undone the other day when someone came round to fix the boiler and I accidentally got the wrong voice and spoke in Australian.

"Hi, I've come to look at the boiler".
"Noice one! Cam on in, mate! Can I getcha a cap of tea?"

Even in my own ears it sounded bad, but I had to keep it up all the time he was there as it was too late to change back to my normal voice.

"Oi dunno mate, it just sorrta stopped wurkin'!"

I was almost crying with relief by the time he left. He probably was too.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 11:12, 22 replies)

Quite a common complex
I'm a well-spoken Yorkshireman, but you'd think I was a miner when there's a plumber in the house.

Class guilt. That's what it is.
(frankspencer, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 11:22, closed)

I thought you were supposed to stay away from miners?
Oh no wait, that's /minors/.

Just pulling your leg, I have the same problem, just substitute Wiltshire for Yorkshire and Farmer for Miner.
( laminasni isn't., Fri 16 Jan 2009, 11:41, closed)

*cries with laughter*
This is far and away the best contribution made to this QOTW so far.


Made my day, thank you, 'cobber'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 11:30, closed)

I've got a nasty case
Of "accent sponge syndrome".

If I spend to long with someone with a particular accent, I start it pick it up.
I'm from Essex, but I'm just starting to shake the fancy Surrey accent that I had from three years of living there.

The downside to this is that I'm now living and working in Essex again.
Which is fackin' lavly.
( Cawl, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 11:30, closed)

yeah but
thats them south & east essex estuary cunts you have to blame, there is none of that bollocks in the more refined middle and north Essex.

Apparently I have quite a posh and intruiging accent (polled from 5 different people, who might have been drunk at the time of asking) but can slip accidentally into broad Essex (imagine a more gutteral Norfolk accent) every now and then.
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 12:00, closed)

I do that too
I pick up the accent of people around me.

Over the summer I reverted back to my natural accent. I'm quite posh really.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 16 Jan 2009, 11:31, closed)

'accent sponge syndrome'
you've just labelled my disorder , thanks Kaol
( horace wimp needs more than 49 characters to fully express hi, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 11:34, closed)

Yep.
It's a right pain in the a.s.s
( Cawl, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 11:35, closed)

I watched and cringed for many years as my sister did this
As did the rest of Surrey, it would seem. Suddenly, when regional accents became fashionable, they decided they all came from Sarf-eest Larndon. Jamie fucking Oliver, you have a lot to answer for.

Oddly enough, since she moved up to Manchester, her Mockney accent has waned considerably.

Though it is amusing to hear my father's accent: grew up in Leicestershire but now lives down in London. You can hear a discernible reversion to East Midlands the further he gets up the M1.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 11:39, closed)

Although...
...isn't a Surrey accent a gentler version of a South London accent (at least that's what mine sounds like, I think)? Mind you, talking like you're from Peckham when you're really from Reigate is a bit daft (innit)?

My wifey's accent does what your Father's does- she's from Cheshire and she becomes a little bit more more northern sounding when we visit her relatives. Worryingly, it's started to rub off on me, and I sometimes pronounce "done" as "doon" rather than "dun" which is what you would expect...
( milkybarnick is calming down Boris on, Sat 17 Jan 2009, 10:38, closed)

Hard to tell what a Surrey accent should sound like, actually
Depending on where you go, people either tend more towards Radio 4 or, as you say, something which sounds quite South London. Having said that, you could say the same about South London.

What you don't find naturally are the tones of cheeky cockney chappies from the East End. Just kids pretending they are. Or pretending they're from a black ghetto.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 16:54, closed)

Haha!
Material for an episode of friends or suchlike methinks...
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 11:48, closed)

My father is the king of this one
He was born in Scotland - but moved to Canada when he was about 2, where he remained until he was 27.

How can it be, then, that on family holidays to Scotland, as soon as the word Scotland appeared on the roadsigns, he would without fail become transformed into Wee Jimmy McSporran, the doughty crofter?


Ghastly, simply ghastly.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 11:49, closed)

I must admit
...that I tend to do this as well when visiting family in Edinburgh. That and, more embarrassingly, when rather too drunk.

To be fair, I try not to, but after a week or so, it starts slipping :-/

Going up in February with the missus, wish us luck.....
(Fleximus Rex briefly gave up lurking on, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 1:32, closed)

i'm like this
at the barbers when having to talk about footy. I like footy but i know fuckall about it, dont give that much of a shit. Its just a couple of hours on a saturday, not a fucking way of life. But a British Male i have to try. Nightmare.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 12:25, closed)

!!
ha yes that reminds me of the time I desperately said I supported "Wembley" at school/
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 13:49, closed)

Another of my favourite ever posts by anyone, ever
Simply superb.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 14:02, closed)

I went to college with a chap...
...Brummie by birth of Irish parents. Lovely guy, he had full on french kissed the Blarney Stone.

Sober, he spoke with the Brummie drawl we all know and love (actually I do, there are more offensive accents than Brum - like Estuary Lahndan for example). When imbibing alcohol, the tiniest hint of Galway was shown and when paralytic out came bog-leaping Irish.

Confused? When I get drunk I become even more well spoken.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 16 Jan 2009, 12:35, closed)

This
made me laugh very, very loudly and disturb my office. I doff my cap to you, sir, and am secretly pleased I'm not the only one who does this.
(the nightmare of cake, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 13:32, closed)

Nice One!!!
I do this too. My South African accent is absolutely fucking terrible...
( SpankyHanky, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 13:34, closed)

Similar but welsh :-(
Same lines...

I was stocktaking at a well known High Street retailer when, having to work with someone sent in to help for the evening, I thought it amusing to put on a Welsh accent for the few bits I thought I would be stocktaking with her. Little did I know this would be the whole evening.

I still cringe when thinking back to this, not because of the accent (which I can do as I lived in Wales for a number of years), but for the abuse I got from manager afterwards, having heard it :-(
(TheBDI is watching you..., Fri 16 Jan 2009, 14:38, closed)

.
I've got this unfortunate problem where I become even more posh sounding when I'm nervous, so when dealing with more rough-and-tumble working class types who are already eyeing me with suspicion, I adopt a full on Hugh Laurie impression.

This didn't go down all that well when I met my girlfriend's mother, who goes on socialist marches and thinks private schools should be burned, then pillaged, then burned some more.

I don't really know what to do about it. I am going to get beaten up one day. Probably in the north.
(WarneMarsh My priority for frivolity begets quality jollity, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 20:58, closed)