Never trust an alter boy...
My SO was once a fervent practising catholic - and a god-fearing, nun-fearing alter boy - but he quickly learnt he was going to hell..

One of his duties was to pour the wine and water for the communion while the priest held the chalice. But after pouring in just a couple of drops of wine, he quickly tipped in all the water and ended up in a fight with the priest who wanted more wine - much to the consternation of the watching nuns.

Another duty was to put out a cushion for the priest when he knelt to pray. One Sunday, while showing off to his mates, he swished out the cushion and just as the priest was kneeling down he swished it away again so the priest's knees cracked onto the marble altar - another gasp from the nuns.

To cap it all he molested a young priest who had come to offer him solace after he'd injured himself playing rugby - leading to a private tryst in the boat-shed (á la Maurice) and a very public exposure when they were discovered.

Finally he ended up in a seminary(!) and after a year they had a grand parade in their new blue cloaks to be presented to the Cardinal in the chapel. This required a solo parade down the aisle - only his cloak had been tailored like Batman's so he flapped it out and swooped down the aisle - more gasps from the nuns...and his cloak wings were rapidly clipped!

Strangely, he left the seminary soon after and became a practising homosexual instead!
(Pewit does things down under, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 1:53, 3 replies)

A practising homosexual?
How long before he becomes any good at it?
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 2:25, closed)

Oh, he's very good at it ...
...but practice makes perfect!
(Pewit does things down under, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 2:53, closed)

Instead?
I thought it was compulsory!

He sounds like a fun sort of bloke. Their loss.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 9:12, closed)