The telltale typo
Maybe this would have been better suited to the call centre question a while back, but never mind.

I work in "support" for a company who run websites on which you can make applications for stuff (for two more days, yippee). As you can imagine, applying for stuff makes people as mental as a barrel of screeching weasels. Completely batshit nuts.

In my very first week someone rang up to whinge they couldn't type in any of the fields on our site. Being new and keen, rather than laughing mockingly (inside) and asking them to get their internal IT to have a look, I asked them to go to Google, via typing in the address bar. No joy there either.

"Are you on a laptop?"

"No, I don't own anything that fancy, I'm not technical"

"Erm, this might be a silly question, but have you checked your keyboard is plugged in?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, I'm not technical"

"You keyboard, the thing you type with? It should be plugged in via a cable to the back of your PC".

"So you're saying your website has broken my computer?! I shall be taking this to the highest level of complaint!"

"Er, no, it's not possible for that to happen because of a website.."

etc, etc, ad nauseum. I eventually had her crawling around under her computer following the cable to see where it was going. She tried to plug it into the wall. That's as far as I got without briefly squeaking "you'll need IT to help you, I can't", corpsing and hanging up. I suspected it was some kind of first week hazing ritual until she actually made the complaint after all.

But the best support calls are the "I'm really angry at your service but actually I'm an idiot" ones. So satisfying when someone rude (usually the posh ones) finally realise they're dumb and you're excellent. Names and emails slightly changed to protect the deranged and over-privilieged, and my job.

The Telltale Typo, a play in one act

"Hello, bolshevette speaking, how can I help?"

"I'VE REGISTERED ON YOUR SITE TWICE AND STILL NEVER RECEIVED AN ACTIVATION EMAIL!!"

alarms bells - super posh angry person, sounds too much like my mum, attempt not to stutter

"Ok madam can I take the address please?"

"Why on earth do you need that?"

"So I can find your records and try to help".

"Fine, I suppose. It's firstname.blackpool@famousstoutstereotypicallylovedbytheirish.com"

*searches database*

*suppresses enormous wave of laughter*

"I'm sorry Madam, you'll need to register again, you've made a typographical error in your email address"

"That's certainly not the case. What do you have there for me?"

"It's under firstname dot BLACK POO at (famousstoutstereotypicallylovedbytheirish) dot com."

"Oh." *click*.

Reader, I nearly died. Come to think of it this could have fit just as well in the childish QOTW.

Apologies for length, but I've been here 18 months and it's eaten my life.
(bolshevette, Thu 24 Sep 2009, 13:41, 3 replies)

you could've just written guinness

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Sep 2009, 13:51, closed)

clicky
Black poo! Black poo! *childish giggling*

And I'm glad you didn't write 'guinness', I had to use my brain to work it out and I don't use it that often, sometimes it gets dusty.
(Dog Bum Cute, wiggly, has scary anal glands, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 17:44, closed)

Freudian Slips
We love them
(Sir Tainley Barking Ezekiel 23:20, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 22:26, closed)